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I'm sorry you went through all this, it legit sounds like the whole situation broke you mentally, when things that are this high stress go on for that long, it can really fuck you up.
People rarely listen to good advice when the fun mistake is staring them in it face. The not dating at work thing isn't for when things go right, (a lot of people get married having met at their job) it's for when things go bad like this. You are trapped with them! Like you said, lesson learned, don't keep beating yourself up.
Next time, and don't let this scare you off of dating in general, communicate with your partner before that the idea of knocking up a partner is a genuine fear, set a clear boundary. Good on you for resisting getting back into the situation once you had been made truly uncomfortable.