Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

349

Anon asks out a friend (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 23 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 149 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

I don’t think I can blame Anon. “Should we try it out?” isn’t exactly stirring my passions, either.

Under the circumstances, it sounds like “you’re my least terrible option left, so maybe I can settle for you. On a trial basis, of course.” Uh, no thanks.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 33 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Bold of you to think anons story is real and straight

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 19 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

It’s more fun to play along, and unless I’m missing something, I kept it gender neutral.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Anon is on the internet. No girls there.
Anon had a girl interested in fucking him: fake.
Anon turned down a girl that wanted to fuck him: gay.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

If by "straight" you mean heterosexual and you're doubting the story is heterosexual, read it again. There are pronouns in there. This is a heterosexual story.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 18 points 13 hours ago

This is a heterosexual story.

Still gay though.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 16 points 12 hours ago

Is this your first green text?

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

NOOOOOOOOO!!! I NEED IT TO FIT IN THE PREDETERMINED BOX I HAVE SETUP FOR THIS GREENTEXT!!! IT HAS TO BE GAY BECAUSE I SAID SOOO!!!!!!!

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

I had no problem taking this innocent heartfelt greentext post at face value, but would you agree, the comments have been aneurysm-inducing.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago

Yep. I’ve run out of ideas, I’ll try settling with a heavy “maybe”. That’ll really make you feel like a potential partner values you.