this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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People sign up to app intended to share personal information about others without their permission, end up having their own personal information shared without permission - the irony is impressive.
At first I was going to call bullshit because I thought you were exaggerating and being ridiculous.
Nope. That's the app. "Anonymous" sharing of pictures and info of other people. Presumably without their permission. That's fucked up.
Yeah. I mean, I get it. The concept of the app makes sense. And I would be that, on average, it is/would be used for good.
On the other hand, as a guy, the idea that people are out there sharing reviews of me as a person on the open internet, and I have no way of knowing this, is deeply unsettling. Like, I haven't done anything wrong - just the whole concept feels very gross.
Especially because the app is called "tea", like the slang term for gossip. The letter of the intention may have been good but the whole thing is toxic.
My problem is how it's implemented.
An app where you simply post a name and a location, and then people can DM you with their experiences directly, would be a lot less invasive.
That's terrible.
Have an upvote.
...
k
Can't tell if you're being transphobic to trans femmes or supportive to femme leaning enbies.
Well im talking about external interpretation of ones identity rather than one's intended expression, so you figure it out. Or don't.
I'd say that's supportive of femme leaning enbies rather than transphobic towards trans women.
There are other things it could be. Interperet as you like.
Wait, so you are being transphobic?
That was one of the things you proposed. Im suggesting there are other potential meanings, that you did not propose. i will not be explaining what i do mean any farther than i have; i think i already did a decent job for people reading in good faith with capacity for complexity. I'm done with this conversation, it's already substantially damaged my respect for humanity.
If I wasn't participating in good faith I would've just assumed you were saying something transphobic from the start, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Then I said you sounded like you meant the positive (not the negative) of the two things I thought you meant and you said you didn't mean that. So... I'm not sure how you think I'm not participating in good faith when I did all that. Even now I'm not writing you off as a monster, I'm willing to hear what you have to say. I'm waiting for you to tell me what you meant, but you're just being vague and refusing.
I don't know what's more good faith than giving you two benefits of the doubt and willing to give a third if you'd just explain.
Confident I said no such thing. Cite me doing that. Dont actually, i just didn't, but go look at why you think that.
Read what i wrote. Or my explanation of it. I feel like i was as thorough as i could be without being condescending.
Shame i didn't write anything after the clause
I'm just about done with this fucking place and im done going out of my way to explain myself to people who arent making any effort to understand. Communication has two sides, i cannot hold up yours, and i don't need the internet to talk to myself-an activity that offers more gratification and novelty, while costing far less disillusionment and alienation.
Think of me what you will. Hell, accuse me of being the spawn of robert galbraith and adolf hitler. I have very few fucks left to give about this place.
Damn. Seems i said that too early. But i feel like I'm done now.
I feel I've communicated well. You keep not explaining what you meant. I want to know. But you're refusing to tell me.
Bruh
I kniw right? Its pretty fucked, but sometimes belief that people, or even men, are mostly good gets you raped or crawling through a puddle of your own blood with fewer than four functioning limbs.
Cynical bitches like me though; we tend to make it out.
I think it depends on people's intent and purpose for using this service. I'm overall not a fan of someone taking and sharing pictures of me without my consent, or making claims that can't be defended...
The group of women legitimately using it for safety is fine, in a general sense.
The group of women using it as gossip and entertainment is not.
Considering that "tea" is common slang for gossip I'm not convinced there was many of the ~~latter~~ former.
Given that the app name is slang for gossip, you're not convinced there were many women using it for gossip?
Thanks I fixed it
It makes sense using it for safety, but I would worry about whether all the information on there is accurate. Most of the feedback on the app is probably negative, I doubt anyone would really post anything on Tea that's positive about their former partner. But people like to believe they are in the right. Someone who got in a fight with their partner might post something on Tea that isn't accurate, but makes them feel better since they can spin the story how they want, and make the other person at fault. However, unlike regular social media, the person being attacked by their partner on Tea has no idea that it happened, and no way to refute what was said. It promotes the opposite of any type of communication between partners after a fight or breakup. It promotes safety, but at the same time it promotes some toxicity in relationships. What would you think if you knew that if your got into a disagreement with your partner that you could end up posted on this app, without any way of arguing back?