Ask Lemmy

It's a really good idea to learn what narcissists and people with BPD are like, because being in a relationship with them is often life destroying, and learning to recognize the warning signs and get out once you begin to realize what they are is the key to not wasting your life on someone who has little regard for you as a human. People with BPD CAN improve, kind of, I still think you should be extremely leery of them, narcissists will wreck your life and make you think it's all your fault, without a qualm, and never improve because they don't care if they hurt you. They will both discard you and then try to lure you back in when they need their emotional "supply" or want something else from you. There is NOTHING you can do for a narcissist, so get out before they make it impossible for you to do so. It's definitely more of a buzz word these days, but if someone you are in a relationship with has chronically toxic and manipulative behavior to you, gaslights you, somehow makes everything your fault, lies, cheats, wrecks your finances, family relationships, etc, they are never going to change. This is not something that they have no control over, it's deliberate.

(BPD people can progress if they actually get a diagnosis and intensive therapy and have insight, but there's no question many of them wreck lives. I am sorry if you are a person suffering from BPD and I do wish for healing for you, it's very difficult, but people do have the right to protect themselves from destructive behaviour, and people have the right to say no to having someone with BPD in their lives who have hurt them irreparably and refuse to get help).