with vegans or against vegans?
Nemo
joined 2 years ago
South Asian first, probably Middle Eastern second
I do Buddhist-style mantra repetition. Recently I've started combining it with box breathing. It's very effective for me.
I've never hired anyone.
But I take it for granted that in any public-facing position, the attractiveness of the candidate for hire will play a role, since it will also play a role in their job performance later.
negative stereotypes about the French
shaboops
There's two parts:
Highly valuing my professionalism and dignity is the first part. I don't need to chase money or approval because I can always make more money, get another job, make new friends. What I can't afford to lose is my respect for myself, my professional reputation, and the self-discipline that makes me effective at what I do.
The second part is what I've long called "charitable apathy". I genuinely don't care what others think and just try to treat them with kindness and understanding. You know, like children. Teach them if they want to learn, give them a snack if they're grumpy, applaud their terrible art as long as it doesn't make too much of a mess. Anyone who complains that this is condescending is exactly the kind of person most in need of your apathy and least in need of your charity.
Since this is the third or fourth post of yours in this vein, I will remind you of previous advice: Part of your job is to get along with your coworkers. It's okay if you don't enjoy it; nobody enjoys every part of their job. Just say "hello" and "goodbye" and "I'm getting coffee, do you want one?" and occasionally compliment their shoes or hair or whatever; it goes a long way.
Ouch, that's rough, cousin. I have the luxury of being as feminine as I care to be because I'm not disabled and just generally large. I'm the shape of person that typically fills out rôles like "bouncer" or "linebacker". That I'm a waitress instead doesn't change that people just, like... don't mess with me, no matter what I'm wearing.
That said, I think your path forward has to involve ridding yourself of some of the things you've internalized. I'm not a psych but it sounds like you've got an anxiety disorder at the very least (source: I have an diagnosed anxiety disorder). Fagbashing is rare in any major city in the First World. Vigilantes are rare anywhere. The world outside is a lot more survivable than the world inside your head. It doesn't feel that way right now, but that's because you're too in your head.
I hope you get out there, even though it's hard and scary. We're all rooting for you.
meditation
videogames where I have a greater degree of control than IRL
throwing myself into work
people pleasing / martyr complex / anxiety disorder
ADHD
anorexia
There is, and it's Thor from the MCU.
This is so bavkwards to me. I'd rather work somewhere where the patron can buy my labor directly, without the capital class taking a cut.
You'd rather pay the owner $20 so she can pay me $15 than pay me $20 directly, and you think that's better for the workers?
Because restaurant patrons pay the wages of workers no matter what. The only question is whether the owners take a cut first or not. I'd prefer not, but what do I know? I'm just a career waitress.