Im_old

You might try blending these two together https://hotkey404.com/how-to-turn-raspberry-pi-into-freepbx-based-gsm-gateway/

https://sysopstechnix.com/build-your-own-sms-gateway-using-raspberry-pi/

I suspect what you are looking for is a gsm gateway. There are many standalone implementations, some ready made, some a bit more DIY

Just so you know, you can run pi-hole as a container as well

About dhcp, I don't know about unifi, but I guess in the firewall you can configure static dhcp leases. So son1 devices always get same ip. Then you can configure a hairpin port forwarding, so any requests for ports tcp/udp53 from his devices get forwarded to pi-hole. That is assuming that in the "general" dhcp config you assign an external dns.

Otherwise you could try creating two different dhcp pools, one with pi-hole (and make sure son1 devices get a static lease in there) and one for everyone else.

As a side note, I recommend looking into self hosting your piped instance, so even son2 can enjoy YouTube without all the ads! (And the tracking)

I bet that thing was fast!

Speeding is not civil disobedience, it's being an asshole.

Well I can be disappointed at his accidents

To each their own man. I just would not have enough memory on my potato servers to run all those VMs 😅

Why all those VMs instead of containers?

And your words show your lack of experience in the matter. Usually work laptops have their bios locked down, so you can't access it and change the boot sequence and install what you want.

Some just put a password that sometimes can be reset, other times there are full on lockdowns by dedicated security apps that are very difficult (if not impossible) to circumvent.

Every time I watch that video I die inside a bit more. I've been in too many meetings like that.

Just thought of a couple more: they have to eat unhealthy amount of meat (pork or beef only obviously) and zero vegetables (fries are acceptable). Breakfast is a mixture of (leftover) pizza, fat, eggs and any other kind of heavy greasy food. Even better if blended together so they can show how manly they are by their prowess in eating shit. They have to drink lots and lots of beer, and the first one to say they had enough (of either meat or beer) is mocked for being a lightweight.

Every time the party encounter a FEMALE they have to comment on their body and if they'd have intercourse with her or if she isn't hot enough to be worthy of their attention. And if all of them say no but one says he'd "do her" all the others have to mock him for his low standards (see moped).

They all have to one-up each other all the time on all kind of small things.

No one can ever see another man peepee. They all have to refer to their peepees with highly sounding names that confer absolute potency (e. g. the horn of breeding).

Their horses/companion animals have to be waaaay oversized and impractical, with no real bonuses and lots of drawbacks (e. g. Brutus the destroyer, a 100kg dog that is slow, eats all the time, shits copious amounts that they have to pick up and has a dps of 2, and love scratches behind the ears).

They have to carry ~~wallets~~ swords on their back because it looks cool but it's absolutely impractical. A couple of true stories on this last bit: my dad once told me I should start putting my wallet in my back pocket "like a man". A friend of mine got back problems because he used to sit all day with his wallet on his back.