Ask Lemmy

To a certain degree, and it sounds exhausting. It also varies with culture (Brits are more masked than Polish people, for instance). Now, I have discernment so I don't always just blurt out whatever's on my mind (especially around people like my MIL and my older relatives), but I don't see it as a mask, it's more on the level of holding in some farts, lol. I haven't changed my mind about anything and if something arises that would test my values I'll still just be me and act accordingly, I'm just not mentioning what comes to my mind when I see my wife bra-less, for example.

Regardless, there's us, the perception we have of us and the perception others have of us. We should at least make sure the first two are as close as possible. Also, personally, I'm too proud not to be myself, and since I know I lead a mostly harmless and somewhat selfless life, I have no moral qualms going at it raw and maskless!

Internal Family Systems teaches that we have multiple internal personas that have different roles in protecting the true self at the center. It has been useful for self discovery, though I don't know if I believe it's completely correct

I did learn that I have multiple sets of behaviors that l adopt based on need. It's like code switching, except it changes everything - speech cadence, word choice, body language, thought patterns, you name it. It's not multiple personalities or anything, just changing relative proportions of various traits for a given situation, like job switching in an RPG. It was initially really jarring for my partner. They are one of the few people I'm genuinely myself around, but if I'm in a very stressful situation or interacting with co-workers about work, they see me acting very differently. It's disconcerting but it makes me more flexible in social situations.

Edit: I also recently learned I'm what is known amongst the commoners as "autistic as fuck", so that may be a factor. Still learning!

no clue but i definitely do

Persona (psychology) - Wikipedia https://share.google/aeMgXcVW6RqPHrwg7

As for everyone keeping a secret from everyone? Maybe. You don't have to share everything with everyone, it's ok to keep stuff to yourself if you want to. Most secrets are probably pretty banal though.