Wands don't kill people, wizards kill people
this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2025
326 points (94.8% liked)
Showerthoughts
38758 readers
1042 users here now
A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.
Here are some examples to inspire your own showerthoughts:
- Both β200β and β160β are 2 minutes in microwave math
- When youβre a kid, you donβt realize youβre also watching your mom and dad grow up.
- More dreams have been destroyed by alarm clocks than anything else
Rules
- All posts must be showerthoughts
- The entire showerthought must be in the title
- No politics
- If your topic is in a grey area, please phrase it to emphasize the fascinating aspects, not the dramatic aspects. You can do this by avoiding overly politicized terms such as "capitalism" and "communism". If you must make comparisons, you can say something is different without saying something is better/worse.
- A good place for politics is c/politicaldiscussion
- Posts must be original/unique
- Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct and the TOS
If you made it this far, showerthoughts is accepting new mods. This community is generally tame so its not a lot of work, but having a few more mods would help reports get addressed a little sooner.
Whats it like to be a mod? Reports just show up as messages in your Lemmy inbox, and if a different mod has already addressed the report, the message goes away and you never worry about it.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Voldemort almost killed Ginny with a book.
Time to ban books
The pen is mightier than the sword indeed
If you see something send a howler about it.
As the local Auror at Hogsmeade I advise against sending howlers. Please just use your patronus like a normal person when you send a message to us. We don't need 4000 howlers in our office, thanks.
At least in this case a bad guy with a wand was stopped by a good guy with a wand. Come on people.
I thought it said "a bald guy with a wand" which also fits in this case.
This was my signature on a BBS a long long time ago lol
"Hey Neville, here's your Remembrall back."
"You were always nice to me, Potter. Don't come to potions class tomorrow."
Geez that's dark. Upvote.
doesn't count, it wasn't by a trans student or they were "gang violence"
*gets shot in neck*
Didn't Voldemort, like, grow an entirely new body after his previous one was obliterated? That's gotta count as some form of trans- prefixed thing, right? Like transubstantiation?
The new body is distinctly inhuman, so it's also transhumanism.
He also changed his name
And nobody knows what to call them, so they just say "you know who"
I don't think cloning is a trans thing
He did change the appearance of his original body pretty drastically, though. Maybe horcruxes are just how JKR views transition.
Every time you factcheck a transphobe your gender fragments and becomes harder to destroy
If you fragment your gender into small enough particles, it will become a gender fluid
Oof ouch right in my genders
The school sorts you into one of four gangs for this express purpose.
Red : bloods.
Blue : crips
Yellow : banana boys.
Green : ~~???~~ Grove Street
EDIT : added grove street, thanks @MaggiWuerze@feddit.org
Grove Street
At least it was, before you fucked everything up
Year one: threat averted, most students unaffected
Year two: several students attacked but no deaths
Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt
Year four: two students are kidnapped from athletic competition, one killed and the other almost killed
Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school
Year six: student attempts to kill principal twice, injuring two other students in the process, then lets in an army of known killers to attack the school, principal is killed
Year seven: big battle, several people killed on both sides
Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt
I mean, several students get attacked by a werewolf and 100 dementors in the same night, nearly resulting in 3 people (2 of them students) losing their very souls. And of course, poor Draco maimed by Buckb- uh... I mean, Witherwings.
Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school
That's a very diplomatic way to skirt around the governmental coup of the school implementing totalitarian control by a racist megalomaniac, restricting basic rights, turning students into secret police, and punishing discent with literal fucking torture.
Another way to think of year five is that there was a terrorist attack on an unofficial school club's field trip.
Clearly, the High Inquisitor program was a success, and the fake news Daily Prophet was libelously alleging it wasn't.
Books or movies? Book year 5
just in case anyone still interested
had Umbridge/minstery of magic come in to get rid of Hagrid. McGonagall I think even got injured fighting back.
As I'm typing this out, I'm suddenly remembered of Um, Actually, and how this could have been a good question for the show
You're right, I forgot about that fight
That story isn't worth thinking about in any shower.
True... What actually inspired that thought, indirectly, was thinking about how the anime I was watching (seven spellblades) felt like a more interesting wizarding universe than HP. Also fuck JKR.
You should check out Mashle, it's basically a parody of your typical "magic school" anime where the main character can't use magic and literally just out muscles everyone.
Its also gloriously hilarious, plus....
Your magic is strong, but my squats are stronger
Is just pure poetry
Mashle is very distinctly a Harry Potter parody, yep. All the way to the "chosen one" scar. Even the magic school headmaster looks 1 to 1 like anime Dumbledore.
load more comments
(17 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Most American take on the story ever!
The events at Hogwarts fund hate.
view more: next βΊ