Ask Lemmy

Apartment. I really hate the suburbs

All else being equal, in terms of structure and property itself, I'd rather live in a detached house.

But all else isn't equal. I'll sacrifice my ideal building type in order to live in the specific neighborhood I want to live in, within easy walking distance of amenities like parks, groceries, world class restaurants, bars, and things like that, all while being able to get around by bike, mass transit, or even easy/cheap hailed vehicles like taxis or Ubers. And that means I'm living in a dense urban area, where detached houses are rare and prohibitively expensive.

So I look for neighborhoods where I'd actually like to live, then look for places there with the right number of bedrooms and floor space, and then look to see what is within a feasible budget for myself. The first time I bought a home, I would've preferred to rent, but the building we liked in the neighborhood we liked happened to be condos rather than rentals.

But housing is a package deal. And house versus townhouse/rowhouse/brownstone versus low rise condo versus high rise condo versus apartment versus someone's accessory dwelling unit is only part of that package. And the other parts are more important to me.

House:

No neighbors on the other side of the wall. Although, I live in a tightly packed neighborhood. My plot of land is only 10,000ft^2. That's not the size of my house, that's the size of my YARD. I do wish we had at least an acre. Honestly, I'd love to have 3 or 4 acres that are partially wooded, but beggars and choosers and all that.

More room to spread out. When we started having kids, we had areas we could turn into toy rooms, a dedicated bathroom for diaper changes and bathing the kids. We finished the basement two years ago and that has added even more room. I have my own personal man cave now, which is nice.

It's a home. Meaning our property looks like how WE want it to look. We're lucky in that we do NOT have an HOA. My wife and I love flower gardens and most of our property is taken up with flower beds. When we turn onto our street, we see our Home, not just a house. Never had that feeling in all the years I rented apartments.

For reference, I rented from 1991 to 2006. My wife and I bought our house in 2006 and have been in it ever since. This is the longest I have ever lived in one place in my entire life. Even over and above the house I grew up in. We're about to go onto the next stage of life, as our oldest is going off the college next year and our youngest is about 3 years behind him. We might move when the youngest moves, but there are a LOT of things that will go into that decision.

House. But not in the suburbs. I've shared houses with lots of roommates, both rented and owned (well, with a mortgage) houses, in town not on the outskirts.

If the choice is apartment in the city or house in the suburbs, then apartment is the only choice because I don't want to commute, want a lot of stuff around me not just miles of houses.

I never really lived in apartments much and now that I'm thinking about it, they suck. If there's a fire, there's no way my fatass would be able to survive.

The only time I lived in Apartments was when I was in Mainland China as a kid, there was no such thing as "Suburbs", its just all tall building in a densely populated city, or villages that doesn't have modern plumbing (and probably no internet either). I vaguely remember having to walk up the stairs because there was no elevators in the apartment. It gets very tireing.

Cell signal probably is HORRIBLE if you don't have a 5G phone, and even if you do, you are gonna have like THOUSANDS of phones all pinging the same tower, so its gonna be very slow.

And when I think about it, if you ever like need an ambulance, that extra delay of getting you to ground level might cost your life.

I don't like apartments.

Apartment. Houses feel like prison cells especially in ~~desolate barren primitive wastelands~~ the suburbs where everything requires a car or at least an hour of travel. Anyone with nothing to lose can break into your house and all you can do is make it too much effort. All your neighbors are thieves and will steal your mail, packages, and food orders. They'll also not care if you had an intruder, and they'll care less about how their smoke affects you. Just wear a gas mask if you don't like smoke. It's their property so you'll just need to get over it. Happy and cozy! Let's hope your work schedule doesn't change so you don't need to choose between taking out trash and being able to sleep before work. And definitely get some insurance to replace your replaceable belongings when a high schooler's still-burning joint tossed on your outdated status symbol burns your house and everything in it. Spend every day with your pets and children like it's your last. It's the current year, live like it. You don't need a glorified horse drawn carriage and a happy cozy cottage in the woods. There's no need to maintain a patch of grass to show off you don't need to farm on it. There's no need to live completely alone where no one can help if you're in need. It's unnecessary. If you can't live in a city the problem is you. Go buy an island if you need to live so primitively.