this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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"b-but bears are actually dangerous!" Shut the hell up.

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[–] Kedly@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

~~I have some extra emotional capacity today so~~ (see edit*) I'll post some wrong think: but can we stop antagonizing populations that feel disenfranchised by society and therefor giving the truly evil fucks out there an easy population to brainwash and feed extra scummy ideologies to?

Young nerdy men who feel excluded from society that dont have any strong female figures in their life are barraged by a constant stream of messaging that could easily be interpreted as "(white) men are evil and the source of all problems with society"

By constantly antagonizing them for not being able to navigate the political nuance of those messages, we give an incredibly easy pathway to the more toxic ideologies that the Tates of the world will pull them into to profit off of them, because they are the only figures who will give them praise and a sense of belonging.

Edit: Its a new day now, and I no longer have the energy. If you want to vent, understanding that venting in this manner will bring about little to no positive change, you do you, I will no longer be responding

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[–] dragnet@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Downvoted not because it isn't true, but because they aren't automatically mutually exclusive and because it is an unnecessary jab at half of the human species. Why are we paying attention to divisive bullshit instead of focusing on things that actually have the potential to help?

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[–] ClamDrinker@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (13 children)

The thing is, I've seen statements like this before. Except when I heard it, it was being used to justify ignoring women's experiences and feelings in regard to things like sexual harassment and feeling unsafe, since that's "just a feeling" as well. It wasn't okay then, and it's not okay the other way around. The truth is that feelings do matter, on both sides. Everyone should feel safe and welcome in their surroundings. And how much so that is, is reflected in how those people feel.

The outcome of men feeling being respected and women feeling safe are not mutually exclusive. The sad part is that someone who is reading this here is far more likely to be an ally than a foe, yet the people who need to hear the intended message the most will most likely never hear it nor be bothered by it. There's a stick being wedged here that is only meant to divide, and oh my god is it working.

The original post about bears has completely lost all meaning and any semblance of discussion is lost because the metaphor is inflammatory by design - sometimes that's a good thing, to highlight through absurdity. But metaphors are fragile - if it's very likely to be misunderstood or offensive, the message is lost in emotion. Personally I think this metaphor is just highly ineffective at getting the message across, as it has driven people who would stand by the original message to the other side due to the many uncharitable interpretations it presents. And among the crowd of reasonable people are those who confirm those interpretations and muddy the water to make women seem like misandrists, and men like sexual assault deniers. This meme is simply terrible and perhaps we can move on to a better version of it that actually gets the message across well, instead of getting people at each other's throat.

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[–] mydude@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

People's safety is more important than people's feelings.

[–] SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Are you really all lives mattering this post rn? God damn dude. I hope every person in your life belittles every problem you personally have by telling you that tons of people have that problem.

[–] swag_money@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

all lives matter amirite /s

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Indeed. It strikes me as pointlessly gendered. All people, safety is more important than feelings.

The whole thing was meant to be rage bait.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That gives me feelings of "All lives matter" which minimized the issues of black people. Can you explain why this is different?

[–] Woozythebear@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not, this tread is filled with Incels.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Some people seriously can't hold any conversation about sexism without introducing the word "incel" for the sake of it.

I wonder, can that be cured?

[–] Woozythebear@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Found the incel

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I'm a woman (a trans one if that matters to you) and have experienced sexual assault and domestic violence from both men and women.

I know the point that people are trying to make with the whole bear thing.

But I think the friction comes from women talk about this as a theoretical to make a point, where men are thinking more literally.

And I do belive that no one in there right mind, if actually given this option in real life, would pick a bear (unless maybe it was definitely one of the more harmless species).

Each and every one of us, even those of us that have survived SA, have had countless uneventful interactions with men you don't know. Even when it's just one on one. And its mostly normal biases that makes us remember the shitty ones more. And something a lot of people forget is that the vast majority of SA victims already know their assailant, so the idea of a rando assaulting you is even less likely. So yes I would much rather be in the woods with a man, than a wild fucking animal. And if you're a reasonable person, then you would too.

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[–] sumguyonline@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Men's mental health is more important than women's feelings.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many female teachers have been caught fucking their barely pubescent students this year alone so far?

It isn't a men-women problem. People just suck.

[–] Woozythebear@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do we need to start throwing out the stats for how many rapist are men compared to women?

Spoiler alert, most rapist are men and it's not even close.

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Do we need to start throwing out the stats for how many rapist are men compared to women?

Sure, just as long as you define rape in such a way that female-on-male rape actually counts as rape, which it doesn't in the vast majority of "rape statistics" that get put out. Quote http://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers :

And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011). In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: that women rape men as often as men rape women.

[–] gimpchrist@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm a woman and the same way that women feel about men in this whole meme thing, is the exact same way I feel about women...

I don't trust women within a hairs inch of my life and I would rather be with a bear than a Woman but I bet you I'll get super downvoted for this opinion.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My wife shares the same opinion. It’s not something she can discuss in her social circles, but she feels like she’s been backstabbed in more awful ways by her fellow women.

When she gets in that pattern, I try to remind her that people tend to suck and you have to be choosy regardless of gender.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hear you, but as a dude, I feel like there's significantly more risk of bodily harm from men than than women. This doesn't mean women are Nice, just less likely to try to rape or murder someone in an alley :(

[–] gimpchrist@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

You're right.. a woman would take you home first before she fucking drugged your tea or whatever the Hell she's going to do to you. Just because women have less muscles don't mean they're not just as psychopathic as any dude murderer. The long-term damage that women can cause on the mind and body is fucking creepy and terrifying. Even creepier and more terrifying when you realize how many women utilize manipulative psychopathic actions in regular day-to-day life. Women are total horror shows for me. Unknowable, unsafe, unreliable, unstable. Terrifying.

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[–] Crampon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

This whole thing is bait.

Anyone engaging on any side of the debate are fools. Any topic antagonizing half the population will somehow stir up some noise.

It's like saying all women are bad at sport because they don't train hard enough. It's ignorant and serves only the purpose of creating a divide in the population.

Stop engaging in the divide.

[–] yamanii@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

It's nice to change the subjects of racist phrases to get a free dunk on a lot of people that are cool to hate now.

[–] Lulzagna@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

So if men are statistically safer than bears and women's safety is most important, then you agree "bear" is the incorrect choice?

I'm just trying to figure out all these incoherent memes.

[–] FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Feel however you want, but don't drag me into the what other people have done. I don't deserve the prejudice, and I'd rather just not interact with you.

[–] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's this sexist statement still being made? Cool, cool, cool... I mean it's not actually, but here we are with this crap still being said.

[–] neoman4426@fedia.io 1 points 1 year ago

Plus like a lot of semi recent sexist analogies it's a rephrasing of an older racist one with the same logic but proponents are like "that's different for reasons", 'rather a black man or a dangerous animal' is pretty common in racist circles, just like the 'you have a bowl of M&Ms, 1/10 are poison. That's what it's like to deal with men' analogy from a few years back grew from the 'you have a package of Skittles. 1/10 are poison. That's what it's like to deal with Muslims' analogy

[–] derf82@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

So there mere presence of a man implies a lack of safety? It may be your feelings but it is also major misandry.

[–] curiousPJ@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure what else this meme is doing other than actively creating a bigger divide between the genders...

[–] bbuez@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Maybe a divide for you, my SO says she'd pick the bear if it wasn't me. And I don't blame her.

Instead of arguing the merits of this debate, maybe its worth analyzing your own merits. Men (individually but amongst their peers) should be ashamed that women typically seem to want to pick a bear over themselves, instead of falling further into the rut that pushes everyone - not just women - away from their social circles and friend.

Someone tells you they'd rather be getting mauled by a bear? Take the hint. The divide exists within your head, make friends, be kind, and you'll find happiness

Edited for individuals to contextualize on their peers instead of generically

Edit edit, I mean go ahead, be reactionary

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Men should be ashamed that women typically seem to want to pick a bear over themselves

Shame is an individual thing. Men, plural, is a whole bunch of people. Why should I be ashamed for the actions of people that aren't me?

...and just to be clear here: I'm not even arguing that we shouldn't battle this one out between the genders. But collective punishment is against the Geneva convention and I really don't like to stay quiet when people commit war crimes.

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[–] N_Crow@leminal.space 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

So, we should generalize entire groups of people to teach them a lesson. No matter their feelings or the fact that the majority of people in said group are just living their lives. A bunch of bad apples should make and entire group socially responsible.

Got it. 👍

Yes there are too many men who think they live in the 50s and can do whatever they want to woman. If you say ALL men are like that, you're invalidating the effort of most men trying to be better human beings while being assholes.

If you can't understand that. You are not looking to make things better, just to throw hate around.

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