Hardly surprising coming from a nation where a third of you think dogs can get autism and about half can't read good
this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2025
268 points (99.3% liked)
Not The Onion
18900 readers
2139 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
268
Florida man who crashed stolen BMW told cops he ‘teleported’ into it during arrest
(www.independent.co.uk)
The difference between the US and Europe in this regard is that Europeans are a bit more discreet with their crazy people. EU have 3 times the population as the United States does, obviously they’re gonna have ~3 times more crazy people than we do. They just don’t talk much about it, while, in the US, the crazy people refuse to shut the fuck up
Edit: I mistakingly used EU instead of Europe when referring to a population of around 750 million. The EU does not have that population, but Europe, generally speaking, it does. That was my mistake.
Edit: yikes, a lot of crazy people disagree with me
EU vs US population
EU ~450 million, US ~350 million
We also don't math too gooder.
I feel like people are just doing this now to annoy the person who commented on that one comment
I was thinking of the population of all of Europe, not just the EU. And I tend to use Europe and EU interchangeably. I probably shouldn’t do that.
Not your fault. Both are valid abbreviations for each other. Only E.U. would actually be concrete, but...
Saying the EU should be the European Union. Whereas just EU should signify Europe as you wouldnt say the Europe.
The context here made it obvious you meant Europe though, dont know how people missed that.
I think the EU is a beautiful thing, and sometimes I forget that not all of Europe agrees with me.
I assumed OP either did a typo or wasn't a native English speaker
I have not encountered anyone referring to geographical Europe as "EU" before, that would be confusing!
Education makes a tremendous difference. Americans have mentally ill people probably at the same rate as EU, but also has ignorant people and that’s where the difference is made up. If you travel 3 hrs in USA, you’ll find the same culture. If you travel 3 hrs in Europe, you’ll be in a different culture altogether.
clicks on post
"hmm this is interesting wonder what people have to say about this"
scrolls
the people
"y'know people are crazy y'all don't know how to read your pronouncation is wrong that's the wrong word that's not right there's like 4586k people there how about being mental huh we're just quiet Americans suck"
sighs
"how did this even come to this bro..?!"
Culture doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence. Also, no, driving 3 hours in the US will definitely get you to a different culture, likely a different accent even. It takes 3.5 hours to get from NYC to Boston…
Crazy vs. uneducated. Two different things. Not being able to read or not knowing how vaccines work is not a crazy person thing, it's an uneducated person thing.
The education in the EU is better AND it's free. That's why there are less dumb people who are anti-vaxers and can't read.
They are not more discreet. They actually just have better educated people.
Being better education also helps deal with mental health issues in addition to having free healthcare (although it's lacking in the mental health department), so less people are actually going crazy and doing things like school shootings or voting for a rapist in the presidential elections.
It's all education.
Less, but still dumb and crazy enough that fascism is allowed to get a foothold again.
half can't read good
It should be 'read well', not good. 'Good' is an adjective and is always used with a noun. 'Well' is an adverb and is used to modify a verb, adverb or another adjective and answers the question 'how?'. Since the verb is 'read' it would need the adverb 'well' to modify the verb.
@muffedtrims @blimthepixie
You uncultured cow. Watch it in its entirety.
https://invidious.nerdvpn.de/watch?v=7ffj8SHrbk0
I have no time to watch it now, apparently I am too concerned with my dog's autism.
I n eas hoping you just linked the whole movie for a minute.
Unidan? In MY lemmy?
Congratulations on missing the point
That happens when the writer ain’t write good
proceeds to tell you that the way you used the words isn't right, your grammar isn't right, your spelling isn't right, the way you eat cereal isn't right, the way you drive isn't right, the way you speak to your mom isn't right, the way you dealt with that situation isn't right, and your whole existence isn't existing right
Look, your mom deserves a break, that’s all. She put up with you for years when you couldn’t even feed yourself.
You are criticizing people’s reading while you are writing poorly. I think you are missing the point.
EDIT: Oh I guess I am missing the point? Didn’t recognize the reference.
It's a satirical pop-culture reference to a scene from the movie Zoolander and completely intentional.
We've all been there
Our town had the case of the time traveling chef.
Im from a small vacation resort town with a strong historical theme to it. Its a beach town, with many seasonal workers coming in for the summer.
One of these, a chef, was new in town, and ate some magic mushrooms, and decided to go for a walk. He dipped into the woods, and came out the other side tripping, in the old historic district. It was also like 3 am, and there were no cars on the road. Apparently, his phone battery died somewhere allong the walk.
Fron this, he surmised he must have traveled back in time to the 1800s, and realized his money was no good, because it was dated in the future. So he decided to start walking home, hoping his house still (used to?) Exist.
Eventually his walk took him by a driveway, with a taxi parked in it, still running, with the lights on. He decided that the cab must have fallen through whatever temporal anomaly had brought him there, and decides to drive it back home. Which he does successfully, and falls asleep.
He wakes up the next morning to police, let in by his coworkers, whove found the cab which was obviously reported stolen. (The owner had apparently stopped at home for a quick minute mid shift, in a town where thats absolutely safe enough to leave you're keys in your car for a moment)
He gets charged, gets a court date. Shows up court, figures he was caught red handed, and decides to just be honest, and tells them that story, eith the exception of changing magic mushrooms to 'bad truffles' i a thinly disguised attempt to not self incriminate.
Judge is laughing, cabbie is laughing. They agree to drop all charges in exchange for restitution (something like $500, as though he had 'rented' the cab for 12 hours) court fees, and the agreement that he 'find supervision for any future mycological endeavors'
what a magically glorious story
The burden of proof is on the prosecution. They have to show he didn't.
I believe him.
nah bro the mods have gotta fix this these ai NPCs are getting out of hand
Teleported ? What in the world ?
Florida: [Alcoholic bath salts devourer hits wall.]
EuroLemmy: Americans don’t believe in mental health
Americans: [Grind jaws, sniff reflexively]
Uuuuh, what are you talking about?
[Nonsensical jargon]