this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] sc2pirate@lemmy.world 133 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My partner did this for me early in our relationship, they actually fed me and all of my overnight coworkers with a homemade meal. We have been married for more than a decade and I still tear up thinking about this memory.

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 75 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did this once when my SIL was having her first kid. Went home and made a huge batch of garlic chicken for the whole family because it was a very long labor and we had all been in the waiting room waiting for almost 12 hours for any news and the hospital cafeteria was closed until morning.

While serving it up, got quite a few “omg I want it” looks from a couple others that were waiting as well and definitely offered it up. Was nice to feed everyone, even those couple strangers, so they could concentrate on their other needs. Still a story the family talks about occasionally. Would totally do it again. (The food, not the birthing labor.)

[–] hydroxycotton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Yo you got that recipe handy?

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 11 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

You got it! Truth be told, it’s an old Better Homes and Gardens cookbook recipe, but it’s a hit with everyone I serve it to. The night of the story I made a quadruple batch of this. Enjoy!

Garlic Chicken

Yield: 4-6 servings

  • 2 cups water
  • 2/3 cup soy sauce
  • 2 Tbsp dry white cooking wine
  • 2 Tbsp corn starch
  • 4 chicken breasts, diced
  • 2 cups white rice
  • 4 Tbsp Olive Oil
  • 10 cloves garlic, minced
  • ½ cup green onion, chopped

Combine water, soy sauce, wine, and corn starch in small bowl. Mix well.

Place diced chicken in another bowl, pour half of the soy sauce mixture into bowl. Allow chicken to marinate covered for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

Cook rice according to package instructions.

Remove chicken from refrigerator and drain marinade.

Heat skillet or wok over medium heat. Add oil and allow to heat. Add garlic and onion. Cook slowly for 5 minutes. Remove from skillet and add to side bowl. Increase heat to high. Add chicken and cook thoroughly, approximately 7-10 minutes. Push cooked chicken to sides of pan, add leftover marinade to pan. Reduce heat to medium-high, allow marinade to reduce until thickened. Add onion, garlic, and oil mixture back to pan and allow to heat through.

When ready to serve, place base of white cooked rice on plate and cover with garlic chicken mixture. Serve hot. Refrigerate leftovers.

EDIT: Updated formatting because it keeps getting messed up when I paste it from my cookbook. (P.S. Microsoft OneNote RULES as a cookbook.)

EDIT2: I also like topping mine with a bit of red pepper flake if you want some heat. Not everyone in my family does, so I generally just put that off to the side for those that want it. And also don’t be afraid to make more of the marinade if you want the final product to have more sauce. Sometimes I’ll double just the marinade part so I have more sauce in the final plated dish.

10 cloves garlic

Fuckin' righteous

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I also choose this guy's recipe

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Ooh, 10 cloves, now we talking. Between the garlic and onion, I can almost smell the kitchen already

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

Go big or go home!

No vampires in this house.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 79 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Fake: there are no girls on the internet
Gay: anon isn't a girl

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Memetically compatible solution:

OP is a femboy.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 hours ago

Result: Win

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 15 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Glad I'm bisexual, cause I'd marry the fuck out of them. Not a care in the world for what's in their pants.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

How do you know what kind of oral to do, though? You just outed yourself as a terrible lover.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

this is why we train on the Bop-It

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Please do go easy on the 'Twist It!'

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Ring.

Ring.

... Who is it?

... Honey, who is testicular torsion, and why do they want to talk to you?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Why are they twisting my testicle and not my extra nips?

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You figure it out when you get down there, it's not that difficult.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

So you do still care, youre just willing to wait for that information until the exact moment it applies.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I think you're taking this too seriously

I think I'm being technically correct!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

What.

How does that logic work?

They say they are bisexual.

This implies they have had sexual encounters with both meat rods and meat flowers.

... You know what to do based on ... what shape the sexy time meat is.

... How is this complicated?

It's not but that does still elide a necessary decision fork and discernment.

[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 11 points 21 hours ago

Fake: anon has a relationship
Gay: anon 'has' a bf (there are no girls on the internet)

[–] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 76 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When I was working on my thesis at home, my then-gf would silently sneak in with a plate full of fruit cut to bite size pieces and place it on the table and leave without a word.

[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 24 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Yea I agree, that's why she's the now-wife <3

[–] dogs0n@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

Now-wife and future-wife sorry locked it in for you now!

[–] swagmoney@lemmy.ca 15 points 9 hours ago

fabricated: there are no girls on the Internet
homosexual: kissing a man

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

gay: anon has a bf

fake: anon has a bf

[–] Redex68@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

Literally the fakest and gayest thing I've ever seen, happy people don't exist and op is a guy