this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
463 points (97.7% liked)

Greentext

7397 readers
810 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

How do you know what kind of oral to do, though? You just outed yourself as a terrible lover.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

this is why we train on the Bop-It

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Please do go easy on the 'Twist It!'

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Ring.

Ring.

... Who is it?

... Honey, who is testicular torsion, and why do they want to talk to you?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Why are they twisting my testicle and not my extra nips?

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You figure it out when you get down there, it's not that difficult.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

So you do still care, youre just willing to wait for that information until the exact moment it applies.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I think you're taking this too seriously

I think I'm being technically correct!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

What.

How does that logic work?

They say they are bisexual.

This implies they have had sexual encounters with both meat rods and meat flowers.

... You know what to do based on ... what shape the sexy time meat is.

... How is this complicated?

It's not but that does still elide a necessary decision fork and discernment.