Least confusing Christianity lore
this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Oh mate, may I introduce you to the Magdalene Laundries?
A formal state apology was issued in 2014, and a compensation scheme for survivors was set up by the Irish Government, which by 2022 and after an extension of the scheme had paid out €32.8 million to 814 survivors.[4] The religious orders which operated the laundries have rejected appeals, including from victims and Ireland's Justice Minister, to contribute financially to this programme.[5]
Shocking. /s
Microwaving newborns is generally frowned upon.
But if you never truly sin, you render Jesus' sacrifice meaningless. Make it count!
I think Jesus is too scrawny to properly render.
Through Jesus all things are possible
Seriously.
Sous vide those suckers for better texture!
Spawncamping aint cool bro
Fun fact: Everyone goes to purgatory when they die. You don't see the sorting hat to be placed in Heaven or Hell until the rapture.
Depends on the denomination, I think. Dunno about others but for Orthodox Christians the soul goes to heaven(or gets to be judged by God, actually) after 40 days because that's how long Jesus took to ascend after his death.
Climbing stairs for 40 days sounds like its own hell.
I mean, not that any of it is true, but the rapture shit was made up way later than the "original" text. It's fan fiction essentially.
The common description of what the rapture is, is what came later. The bible does indeed talk about armageddon and the return of Jesus Christ. The idea people are just gonna be pulled into the sky is the non-biblical part.
Well yeah, I've read the majority of the King James bible. I guess you could count me as a Christian for several years, because I was in a church until I wasn't forced to go. Revelation is definitely the most interesting part that was included in that version.
For my branch(es) of evangelicalism growing up, purgatory simply wasn't a concept.
Purgatory was one of the big issues that started the Protestant reformation in the first place.
Bunch of hell-bound papists in this thread, got it. For what it's worth, I'll speak up for y'all with the big guy, but...I don't know that he'll listen. You know, in light of everything.
Hey, potatoes are pretty awesome
LOL. The Catholics have their issues, but I'm not sure the Evangelicals have much room to be criticizing. You know, in light of everything.
average double Predestination enjoyer.
I'm such a degenerate, I saw evangelicalism and thought it was a religion for neon genesis evangelion.
Not according to Catholic lore
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yeah but like, would time flow linearly there? why doesn't God just keep the souls on ice and thaw them when ready?
Purgatory isn't a place, it's a process. You go through purgatory, not to purgatory. It also helps to think of the afterlife as more of a state than a place, existing outside of time.
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Classic noob mistake, sucks to suck
Ghastly business, that.
I feel like this would be classed as an 'Unsportsmanlike conduct' by the offense, resulting in an automatic bye into the afterlife.
In Catholicism, isn't murder considered a mortal sin that confession doesn't absolve?
Mortal sins are those that must be confessed or you're screwed. If you die with some venal sins on the books you might still be ok, but not mortal.
According to Catholics, all sins can be absolved through confession, repentance, and penance. Suicide is a problem because you don't have the opportunity to do this, that's why they say all suicides go to hell.
The list of mortal sins is kind of funny (not ha ha funny). It's mostly boring stuff like not going to mass or sex outside of marriage but then murder is just mixed in with those. And like the commandments, rape is not explicitly mentioned.
Venal sins are cool, got it. What about anal sins?
Explicitly allowed, just ask all of the priests with their altar boys.
How long does it take to absolve oneself of suicide using confession etc? Could you use a slow acting incurable poison to kill yourself but then immediately repent?
Not to say that it would be a pleasant experience.
Would you survive long enough to complete the penance?
Depends entirely on how long it takes to absolve oneself. Thats why i was asking.
What if you can’t remember all of them
Mortal sin, straight to hell.
oh no anyone can be absolved pff
Damn, this is dark like that overcooked puppy in my microwave.
Good thing Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory don't exist. 🤷♂️
Childrens Limbo
AFAIK it has been retconned.
Hate it when someone new gets a hold of the lore and has to change it up.
I finally got the rules for Catholicism 6th Edition.
And you know that all they did was reshuffle tables and remove the index so that you subcribe to the online reference.
Fucking Disney at it again!
How low will they go
Barry?
🧐