this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
305 points (84.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

35667 readers
3928 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 134 points 1 day ago (3 children)

First one: i analyse sales.

Second one: i automate production

Third one: i'm a fucking idiot

[–] ApertureUA@lemmy.today 22 points 1 day ago (3 children)
  1. I
  2. Am
  3. A
  4. Fucking
  5. Idiot

It doesn't fit

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 19 points 23 hours ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 11 points 21 hours ago

well the job is BS so...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Vellaides@lemmy.zip 12 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Fourth one: I murder living beings so humans can eat their mutilated corpses

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 7 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Going further with wikipedias article and some of their bullshit jobs listed:

Telemarketing: I sell stuff.

Corporare lawyer: I explain law.

Academic administratrors: I administer students/professors

Compliance officer: I check compliance.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 76 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

I write code

(It's still a bullshit job)

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 39 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I make programs

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 56 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (7 children)

3 people above the fisherman:

  • sales analyst
  • automation technician
  • software engineer

Fisherman:

  • I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] drath@lemmy.world 52 points 22 hours ago (2 children)
[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 40 points 20 hours ago

Nice to see you here Mr. President.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 17 points 22 hours ago

Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 23 hours ago (5 children)

Is this really the message we want to send?

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.

And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 12 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.

Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago

Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.

[–] angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 7 points 19 hours ago

Yeah I really don't like the "blue collar good tech bad" undertone here

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 36 points 21 hours ago

So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...

[–] Novamdomum@fedia.io 27 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?

This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

Yeah as if farmers aren't using gps guidance climate models soil analysis and gmo/selection etc to try and eke out some profit vs the megacorps.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 day ago
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 25 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Is this a war on being specific?

If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?

If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 18 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

"I hate it". Does this count?

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 16 points 23 hours ago

I make art.

^ real job.

I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.

^ real bullshit job.

Oh what a great system you have there. >:[

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 16 points 20 hours ago
[–] BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 15 points 20 hours ago

Make missiles hit.

[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 15 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 13 points 1 day ago

Generate shareholder value

[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

I write code. ✔️ Real job.

I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.

[–] ethaver@kbin.earth 10 points 1 day ago

Refreshments and Narcotics

(an old joke about registered nurses)

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago

OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (9 children)

Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?

Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago

I do things

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago

I stack produce

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›