Blowie with lots of teeth
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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Blowjob?
"Pull my finger"!
What? Thats easy?
"Hi what's your name?"
"Suck yo grandpas wrinkley wang on a Wednesday!" And walk out. Done.
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Actually as someone who does sometimes do interviews: acting like an asshole with a big ego will wreck your chances big time.
take a massive liquid shit in the trashcan and maintain eye contact the whole time while humming or singing "I've been working on the railroad".
Options:
Vomit all over the interviewer's desk.
Act crazy and shout random stuff in German, made worse by the fact that my German is dogshit
Pretend that I'm in a theater play (ie Romeo and juliet) and start dramatically acting a role, etc.
Get my dick out. If it doesn't ruin the interview I'll run away anyway - who would want to work in a company where such a behaviour is okay?
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Call them to say I found a better job.
No, I don't show up. Just call at the exact time the interview starts.
I cough into my hand as I reach out to greet them and fart loudly as I make eye contact while shaking their hand.
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(2 replies)
Whip it out and piss on the desk.
Can we first just check out the salary?
So, how many holidays are there and how much are you offering, if I decide I'm interested?
"The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races" --Homer Simpson (OK the quote was about getting out of jury duty but I think it fits here)
Spit on my palm and go in for the handshake
I’ve had 4 interviews since June where I withdrew myself from consideration in the middle of an interview. I didn’t bomb; just decided the company wasn’t for me.
You can always just say “I don’t think this is the right fit, I would like to withdrawal from consideration but thank you for your time.”
Shortest interview was about 4 minutes, not quite 30 seconds, but it would have been about 30 seconds if he showed up on time. When a CTO shows up late, wearing a t-shirt from their home office while I’m interviewing for a 100% on site role, that’s business casual attire; I’m not even wasting my time talking to this dude.