time to place a poster and start watching drywall repair diy videos
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I've got just the poster. Nobody will ever suspect there's a hole back there.
That's lathe and plaster baby. Get good at finishing work if you ever want it to look right.
Good luck, that shit is lathe-and-plaster not drywall haha
You might be able to tell them you were stupidly jumping on your bed, like a child, and fell into the wall.
Depending on what your parents think of you, this may actually work.
This working also depends on whether or not your parents can tell the difference between an 'exit wound' and an 'entry' wound on wall damage, so maybe doctor the scene a little, or, maybe your parents are morons / know nothing about residential construction.
(Probably hide the dildo).
One thing you could try is to just actually jump on the bed, fall into the existing hole, re-damaging it more in line with, you know, impact damage...
Do that while they're home, so they hear it, and then just be completely honest and explain your mistake, while also being somewhat injured.
Maybe not 'jumping on the bed' maybe you were trying to affix a poster way above, or put silly decorations on the ceiling or something.
I like the cut of your jib, thinking creatively and logically, providing some solid solutions that might actually work.
Perk of growing up with control freak narcissist parents: You learn how to lie well, when necessary.
Downsides: CPTSD, fundamental inability to really trust anyone, ever.
dem lips do be indeed grippy
Might not be lips lol
the muscle tissue that makes your lips work are the same kind that makes your sphincter work.
so you could say that when you fart you're talking out your ass, or when you shit you're talking shit.
I know i am for sure lol
Text post that mentions being fucked in the ass? Gotta mark that as NSFW
Photo of dildo balls? No need for that NSFW tag my man
Wait, thats a dildo? I thought it was the the arm of the hulk hogan rubber wrestling doll.
Oh shit, I totally forgot about the Hulk Hogan Super Action Suction Grip doll, my bad
those dolls felt the best as a kid 🤤
Shawshank it, and put a poster over it. She'll find it when you make your escape after college.
Breaking the fourth wall
That's one hell of a grip and I don't mean her hands
... How do you know they're a her?
That's where you hang your favorite poster until you move out.
Either that, or tell her the truth, she'll understand.
You'd also make sure to start digging a tunnel through that so you can finally move out.
Tell her you fucked up...err...sideways
Your orifice is of superior strength. What do you have to fear from a mere mortal?
Ever seen The Shawshank Redemption?
Just say "Mom, as the prophecy foretold... It has happened!"
Mom, the wall tried to RAPE me!

