Ask Lemmy

Here's the thing. Most women I've met aren't superficial. If you were to gather a bunch of girls and get them to rank each other by attractiveness, you'd effectively get them ranked by extroversion. Also, a bunch of the stereotypical manly things make for bad partners.

I think a lot of the signals you are sending will be recieved as Dad Material. This means you will only attract girls that want to settle down and who imagine a future where you and a little mini version of them are having the best princess tea parties. I see this as a blessing, but this also means you will attract the crazy ones who want you to impregnate them immediately right now.

I am pretty similar to how you described yourself. Four years ago, i also was in a similar rut, although i had dated several girls at that point. Three years ago, I met a girl that was literally everything I wanted in a partner and more. A year and a half ago, I proposed to her, and this year we are going to get married. As far as I know, literally everyone who meets me tells her she's got the most amazing partner and that she's so lucky to have such a caring, polite sweetheart as her future husband. The only person who doesn't like me is her Karen of a mom, because I think she envisioned her perfect little girl marrying a rocket surgeon or something. I think this is similar to how you'll end up.

Also, if I'm reading you right, you sound like either a teen or a new adult, since you're still figuring yourself out. As an adult, I never had a hard time getting a partner; I suspect you won't either. Just keep working on yourself.

Well, I find it atractive when a man doenst want to fit gender roles

I didn't have the guts to post when I first read this, but as someone who like Hello Kitty, Power Puff Girls, Totally Spies, and many other cute things, it feels pretty damn good knowing I'm not alone. Your post is very relatable to me. Society paints this weird picture, I think—but damn, so what if I think it would be nice if a girl wanted to give ME flowers? I like flowers!

Fuck society, @sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world ! Let's live our way!

Thanks for making my week. 🙂

Bro, I'd love to change with you. I tend to be the opposite, I fear I often come off as aggressive and rude when in fact I am only pissed off at a computer for beeping the wrong way all week.

You say you have some (good) friends, have you considered just asking that? "How do you perceive me, I worry I look ?"

I have an ex who is like you, and i love that about him, it is one of his most attractive qualities.. we are still besties but didnt work out due to me figuring out my identity as primarily being attracted to femme people (yes i think thats why i loved him so much lol) but he was not into presenting that way. Also i was becoming more and more masc and he's straight.

Now that i think about it, this might be the opposite of encouraging lmao...hopefully mine was just a fringe case, but honestly the only reason i would ever choose to do it differently if i could, would be because he would have those ywars back to find the right person. I don't regret the relationship and he's one of my dearest friends.

Anyyway, im high as fuck and im gonna go watch tv with my girl. Lol

I only have one piece of advice from my experiences: be your authentic self and dont be afraid to open yourself to others. If you do, the right people tend to just show up. its honestly magical. Good luck to you. :)

As a man, men think women care about looks more than they do.

Looks are much bigger for men than for women.

Obviously a massive generalisation, but in general. Like "men are physically stronger than women". Not all men are stronger than women but...

Anyway.

Looks really don't matter that much. I'd say women pay more attention to personality with the same difference as there is between how much men value looks vs how women value looks.

Also, if I was being very crude, I'd say "status" is the "looks" for women. That's what you get very beautiful women with older rich men more than you do young hot men with old riches women.

But I'd like not to be crude so disregard that last bit.

There's someone out there for everyone. I wish you luck finding them.

I'm a guy, I find Tomboyish woman hot as fuck!

Though to talk about the views of the other gender:

Literal womanizer, that is all that needs to be said.

Also this guy, who frequently cross dresses and is constantly mentioned as having "otherworldly beauty"

Need another example?

Cute? like a baby turtle!!

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Absolutely brother!

Most people are attracted to others or not attracted to other based on visual information and pheromone information. Then secondarily, people become more or less attracted to someone based on personality.

So if your personality is not dominant and comes across as submissive or mild, that really probably has zero impact at all on the initial attraction of others.

you just need more cool friends. feminine men are out there dating lesbians all the time.

You do you, it's the only true ay to be happy. You'll attract women that were raised in a family where the wife took on a more dominant role and the father was a chill laid back guy. In my experience it's inevitable, we're made up of our parents DNA.

Gonna put this out there because nobody else has said it but you might want to glance over at @egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone and see how things relate to you. You are perfectly within your rights to be a lesbian if you would prefer that.

You can, but overall women won’t appreciate it. For all the talk, nearly every couple you see outside is conventional.

So you’ll be looking at 1% of your dating pool, and having to find a suitable match from that reduced choice.

Sure, you can be whatever kind of man you want. You probably won’t find a lot of … “conventionally attractive” women who are into that though

This is how you end up in an abusive relationship....