It was a two step plan:
-
Give young boy the worst possible advice
-
Blame women for not liking it.
That how we got all these incels.
this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
28 points (86.8% liked)
No Stupid Questions
44251 readers
590 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I was just gonna say "they became incels, who then bought alpha male culture"
Sigh. This is embarrassing to admit. I dipped my toes in those waters for a year or so but decided it wasn't for me. Those grifters are preying on guys, like me, who struggle in relationships, which I do. I tried out their tactics and found one of two things. 1) it didn't work at all like expected or 2) it worked like they said but it made me feel like total shit. I gave it up. That's not the kind of person I wanted to be.
The ends didn't justify the means, at all. Additionally, the ends weren't even what I wanted. The end goal for most PUA types is sex with the girl. I do like sex, but not to just get off. Call me sentimental, but I'm after a best friend who I can also have sex with. Negging someone doesn't make them your best friend. It makes them a pawn to your manipulations.
All that said, in short, I would guess a lot of guys tried it out and realized that they're not sociopaths like the grifters are and decided that it's not what they actually wanted.
My quick take is that all that stuff mattered when people had to go out to find other people: to parties, bars, concerts, and other public places. They had to actively attract people to initiate a conversation. Now all those third places are dying, and most couples meet online, which means they have done all the superficial selection stuff already, which changes the game.
They’re still in the online space but they’re not pick up artists, they’re tinder profile experts or whatever they call themselves.
Isn't this basically what turned into the "Manosphere" with people like Nick Fuentes, Andrew Tate, and Charlie Kirk.
Basically moving away from explicitly "dating" to general "manliness/Alpha" stuff, but still preying on typical male insecurities.
Honestly lots of them grew up and realized that what they were doing wasn’t healthy for anyone including themselves. Neil Strauss wrote a second book detailing how PUA exacerbated his trauma and poor mental heath.
Public misogynists posing as 'self help' have been around forever and the only thing that changes is the nomenclature.
The movie "Magnolia" (1999) features a character that does the whole manosphere shtick back when those grifters had to sell their merch on stage at conference centers because Youtube wouldn't even be a thing for 5-6 more years.
In the early 2000s there was seemingly infinite television studio budget to pick a random subculture or even individual sociopaths, and just give them a reality show. I just assumed as broadcast and cable viewership declined, these types of grifters also went away or were forced to get real jobs.
They all became maga when women refused to sleep with them, because that shit doesn't work. lol
That always worked - on a minority of women. There are only a few men willing to descend to those disgusting levels so it worked out for them. (if it was any more society as we know it would break down).
The men who did it crossed the political spectrum trying to blame people you don't like for everything does your side no favors.
In the 80s they were called PUAs.
I met a similar type of low-empathy guy in the 2000s, who talked the same trash with regard to picking up women, he called it 'Sarging'.
A cringe and disgusting meeting.
By this point, they are on their second or third marriage, and hanging out at the slot machine
I worked pub security when The Game came out. I threw so many guys out for rude negging. Women seemed to cotton on pretty quickly too.