this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
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TranscriptionA Twitter post by Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz that reads Whenever I scold my cat, I use the royal we" so she doesn't feel so ashamed. “We don't eat that. We don't chew on electrical cords," I say. It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

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[–] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 87 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

That's precisely not the royal we. The royal we would imply that she means only herself and not herself and her cat.

[–] petersr@lemmy.world 25 points 19 hours ago

Came to the comments to say this.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 11 points 17 hours ago

We are not amused!

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 27 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

OMG I just realized that this is how my therapist talks to me.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 14 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 15 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

You don’t have to answer that!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 15 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

We don’t have to answer that.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

Yeah. What we said.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I don't... think so.

I mean, she'd have to tell me if I was a cat, right?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's the law

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 2 points 6 hours ago

Oh thank god :3

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

... like you are an idiot child?

Either you are, or you have a very bad and disrespectful therapist.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 21 points 20 hours ago

I just say no in a firm voice and flick my hand at them like it's a paw.

They find the flick very offensive for some reason, so it seems like an effective scolding technique.

Of course if there's an alternative they should be doing I try redirecting them to that, but sometimes there isn't (like climbing on the top of the kitchen cabinets and staring down from the ceiling).

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 16 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I do that with my dog. "We don't need to pee on every bush we pass".

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago

Speak for yourself.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 14 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

“Oh my love, I love you much * scoop * here are some kisses. Let’s not play with cords. Cords are not safe. Oh look here are some spring toys!” * plays with spring toys like they are my favorite thing *

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Spring toy! Do you also have the bird toy :3

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 14 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

“We don’t bite our friends”

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 17 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 16 hours ago

That other cat is chill as fuck.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

My cat started chewing the recharger cord while still conected. She is extremely traumitized so I can't be too loud or mean with her but I am worry she will electrecute herself so now I charge my phone in the bathroom and leave the door close. am I crazy? yes. But I don't have the heart

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I had to banish my first cat from the bedroom. He'd start chewing wires to get me to react - which worked, because I didn't want him to be electrocuted - to get him breakfast.

I loved that cat, and I hated to do it, but I can't have him chewing wires.

Later in his life he was allowed back into the bedroom. He'd come into the bedroom while we were prepping for bed, then curl up under the blankets with me for a while, then leave for the rest of the night.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

That's so sweet. We bottlefed my first soulcat. The rest of their life, they would drape themselves on top of my arm for comfort. They slept on top of/along my arm at night. I haven't slept well since they passed

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 9 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Plot twist: the cat is training her human to pay attention to her...

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago

You’d make an excellent parent of a human, too.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 7 points 15 hours ago

I just verbally abuse her in a nice tone and she gets excited.

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 5 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Couldn't that be confusing for the cat, saying we don't do something that they are currently doing?

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

Not eating plastic is a constant battle in my house. Thin shopping bags are a favorite.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago

Yep good make sure your cat doesn't feel like you're singling them out for criticism.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Clearly it can’t be the cat’s problem.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

"is that an approved scratch-/chew-/biteable?" is what I use. I think they understand because they react with shame abs go to the approved scratchers and stuff

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I just want to know how to make them stop with the cable chewing. I've repaired or replaced so many electronic cords. I'm losing my mind.

I'm learning that I am not a cat person.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Give them something better to chew on. We have flowers growing outside most of the year, so our cats get wildflowers to chew on

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

Yeah my house plants are also victims in this situation. They literally destroy everything I love.

I tried putting chili oil on the cables and now I'm convinced that my cats could eat the most potent of Indian food and remain unscathed.

I think they crave it now...