this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 30 comments
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[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Everyone driving slower than me = doesn't know how to drive

Everyone driving faster than me = crazy, reckless driver

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

Anyone driving my exact same speed near me = annoying and trying to cause an accident.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Has more fun than me = drug abuser

Has more friends than me = slut

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

drug abuser

slut

Hey, don't drag me into this

It's just terrible to think about. Someone doing that to poor innocent drugs.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's why I come here, for good, solid life advice like this.

If he's bigger than me: Yeah probably. I get off my ass to rake the yard or build furniture, I don't work out.

If he's richer than me: Yeah it's almost certainly via white collar crime. I live below my means, I'm the son of an IT professional, I went to college on a grant and I taught flight school before I worked in a rapid prototyping lab. I've worn blue and white collars. I've written C++ and run a lathe for my pay.

If he's smarter than me: That's easy to believe with my 3.3 GPA. I was an honor's student looked down upon by the AP and IB kids.

The man who looks better than me probably owns a mirror. I wear navy blue T-shirts and black gym shorts as a daily uniform because they're easy to launder and I shave my neck because a neckbeard bothers me when I'm trying to sleep. Do you want your Lycoming overhauled or not, because I went to mechanic school and you didn't. Thought so, that'll be $30 grand.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks, r/ AntiMentalHealth

Good thing I don't care about these things.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

sniff sniff

Everyone is stinky.

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

Shut the fuck up Kyle.

[–] SolarMyth@aussie.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also, anyone who drives faster than me is a maniac, anyone slower is an idiot.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today -1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

But this is an actual fact... People who drive under the speed limit are bad drivers. Either they are not paying attention to speed signs, or they are scared to drive a car. Both are not great for a driver.

Also slow cars are causing accidents because they frustrate people into doing stupid things.

At least people who drive fast have confidence in their abilities to read traffic. But its also stupid if they drive way too fast and cant handle it. That also causes accidents.

So I would say, a bit faster than the speed limit is perfect. Doesnt annoy anyone, still very safe. I often drive 10 km/h faster then speed limit.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

this kind of thinking literally kills people, you're not doing good, you're a reckless driver.

The speed limit is the speed LIMIT, it's not a fucking suggestion, and in most cases the speed limit is too high.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Not where I live, but I think it depends. In madeira it was absolutely too high.

Obviously the speed limit is not perfectly set in all places. If you have travelled and driven a car, you quickly realize this.

People are absolutely not reckless drivers because they go 10 over the speed limit, as a general rule at least. But like I said, depends on the country a lot.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anything than to have to fix my life.

I don't shower as I don't want the females to think I am gay. I don't read, study, or try so I am not a nerd. I work a deadend job to prove I am "self made". I avoid the "roids", the gym, and exercising, which saves me so much time.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

Saves me more time to spend in my mom’s basement eating Cheetos on Call of Duty verbally challenging your heterosexuality.

[–] crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What if they're more successful, more likeable, and happier? please, I need copium

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

then they're marriage material

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Is that monster drink “nerd” flavor?

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Looks to be trans flavour to me

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

I think it's actually "gay nerd" flavored.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 weeks ago

Ultra Fantasy Ruby Red. I think its red grapefruit flavored. But its one of the zero sugar garbage ones so I've never had it.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz -1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Lemmy edition:

Bigger than you = dangerous nazis

Richer than you = fascist sympathisers, first ones against the wall

Smarter than you = jews

Look better = conservatives aka nazis

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

That fetal alcohol cousin fucker look, so hot. Lol

Also aren't Asians the smart stereotype?

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

vga going mask off as usual

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Please just go back to Reddit dude. Or ask your parents for a hug.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nobody can be smarter than Lemmy teenagers... :)

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz -1 points 2 weeks ago

Lemmy 30-year old teenagers, perhaps