I scuttled away with my human claws up, screeching "whoop whoop whoop" whenever my wife wanted something I didn't like. I still wonder why she left me, Zoidberg!

[–] dwemthy@lemmy.world 67 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] Czele@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 69 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I love the running joke that he's a horrible human doctor

Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin, I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash.

Fry: Can I live without it?

Zoidberg: If you call that living.

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"

"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's cured."

[–] sawdustprophet@midwest.social 15 points 2 weeks ago

"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"

"No, not that mouth." "I only have one." "Really?"

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Young lady, I’m an expert on human physiology.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago

Hermes: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes!

Dr. Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes.

[–] KiwiTB@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Look at me, Dr Zoidberg, Home Owner!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh, that's where I left my cigar...

[–] remon@ani.social 13 points 2 weeks ago

That just raises further questions!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

collapsed inline media

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg!

[–] hellothere@sh.itjust.works 41 points 2 weeks ago

"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated."

I fucking love Zoidberg, he just gets me, yknow?

[–] HailReaper69@lemmy.zip 41 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

collapsed inline media

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago

I use, "Enough of this, I'm going for a scuttle" all the time.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 32 points 2 weeks ago

"You ALL still have Zoidberg!"

[–] HeartyOfGlass@piefed.social 30 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

woop woop woop woop!

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

General: What is your purpose here?

[Zoidberg wakes up.]

Zoidberg: [drowsy] Alright, Officer, I'll move along.

Man: What the general means is why did you come to Earth?

Zoidberg: Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.

collapsed inline media

Truman: If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.

Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.

collapsed inline media

Zoidberg: Hooray!

collapsed inline media

Zoidberg: Take, I've got four of them.

collapsed inline media

Zoidberg: The president is gagging on my gas bladder. What an honor!

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Tbh Roswell that Ends Well was a goated episode from start to finish

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Zoidberg: "I had garbage yesterday and it didn't cost me $300! I am not paying!"

[–] erie09@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago

But still, to have your own pool!

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 weeks ago

My first clue came at 4:15 when the clock stopped. The next clue came 3 hours later at 4:15 when I discovered the body of Amy’s dead deceased corpse

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 weeks ago

"Hooray, I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!"

I relate to this on a spiritual level.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago

collapsed inline media

[–] ScrollerBall@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Scalpel. Blood bucket. Priest. Next patient!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Geez, Zoidberg. Leave some for the enemy to kill.

[–] loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This isn't a war; it's a murder!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

flips switch

This isn't a war; it's a moydah!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] miked@piefed.social 22 points 2 weeks ago

Clamps - "Scuttle on home. This ain't none of your business, Slick."

Zoidberg - "My name isn't Slick. It's Zoidberg. JOHN [beep sound]-ING ZOIDBERG!"

The Silence of the Clamps

[–] chesshire@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"and I'm his friend, Jesus!"

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] 48954246@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

Your music's bad and you should feel bad!

collapsed inline media

[–] Awa@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

The husband and I quote "one art please" and "your [something] is bad and your should feel bad"

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

collapsed inline media

Deviled egg!?

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 15 points 2 weeks ago

......The same devilled egg

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

“Is ‘desire to mate’ a feeling?”

“It’s all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the LIES UPON LIES!”

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] carrylex@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There little friend, good as new

collapsed inline media

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] jpablo68@infosec.pub 16 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Goose liver? Fish eggs? Feh! Where's the goose? Where's the fish?

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 weeks ago

“Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!”

[–] ianfraserkrillmaster@midwest.social 14 points 2 weeks ago

Don't mind if i already did!

[–] hayvan@feddit.nl 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Once again, the conservative, sandwich heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Someday they'll watch from down in the gutter, they will, as King Zoidberg caresses their fancy box.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

JOHN

FUCKING

ZOIDBERG!

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Examples of Zoidberg's astonishingly poor grasp of human anatomy make up my favorite punchlines in the series. Of course Farnsworth would hire the worst (and possibly cheapest) candidate: a doctor that has no idea how his patients are put together.

Open your mouth. No, your other mouth.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

A buffet! Oh, if only I had my wallet with me...

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] BlueZen@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Laughing at Hemes when they get paired up on Omicron Persei 8... "Screwed again my friend"

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

"I've lost more patients than he's treated!"

load more comments