this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 14 comments
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[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 42 points 2 days ago

So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:

"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"

The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:

"but you fuck one sheep..."

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In case anyone didn't catch it, that's "I bone my dog" 😬😄

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There was once someone who printed a roll of stickers with pictures of wood screws on them, and would put them over the hearts on “I ❤️ MY _” stickers.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 19 points 2 days ago
[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

I guess we're going to have to draw straws to see who is going into the barn to find out

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago

classic Welshposting

[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

"Don't trust the sheep! They're liars!"

Nah, they just learned to recognize the sound of a zipper opening.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 7 points 2 days ago

Do you suppose they'll talk? What if they don't trust ewe?

[–] justsomeguy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

It was baaa-aaaa-aaaad

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 7 points 2 days ago

Wait... is there an innocent reading of that barn sticker??

Why is there a bumper sticker for farmfucking?!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago