this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 63 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I had a boss at my first office job that lived across the street from the office. A literal blizzard hit and he still insisted we all come in. I tried my best, but there's only so much I can control. I left 1 hour early knowing it would take forever and I was still going to be late. I should have said fuck it and called off work, but I was young and stupid, so instead I called in to let them know I'd be late. When I got there I got an ear full about how it wasn't that bad and he made it in just fine. I showed him a photo of all the snow piling up 5-10 feet along the roadside as it blew in from the cornfields. He acted like I must live in Alaska or something. Like bro how long have you lived here and you don't know this is a possibility?

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Let me guess, he lives 10 minutes from the office.

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 42 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The first line says the boss lives across the street

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 11 points 2 days ago
[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Redditors can't read... Wait lemmites cant read.

I think actually people in general can't read.

[–] cannibalkitteh@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"No, you can't telecommute, we need you here in the office."

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You get this shit when telecommuting, too.

Just today I got “why didn’t you see that slack message?”

“Because I’ve been working on a weeks long project that is due soon and needed to focus on it”

“Yeah but you should be monitoring slack at all times”

So I guess my job is to stare at slack all day and not do actual work

[–] lectricleopard@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

My CEO told us we need to work faster. 100,000 people and he just makes that blanket statement, like we're all naughty children for not sleeping on our office floors every night to save commute time.

Literally said he want things that take a week now, he wants done in a day, and a 1 day turn around should now be 1 hr. Did not specify what department or discipline or was referring to. We all just lazy to him.

Of course, this company has the same employees for the last like 10 CEOs. The bulk are just jaded as fuck. Every now and then I see a new hire find the company song and start playing at meetings to lick boot. Then someone pulls him aside to let him know the company was helping the Nazis with eugenics when this was being pushed, so just shut the fuck up, we dont need to be glorifying those idiots.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Lemme guess: IBM?

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

Ah, a casual 500-800% increase in work speed. I'm sure we can hit that target if everyone uses AI to assist their tasks.

works 19% slower

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They don't do that to me because I'm a contractor who they me more than I need them. However....

I've seen this exact thing play out several different ways. My favorite recurring one: "Why didn't you respond on slack/why were you offline?" (Always over some bullshit that could wait or that someone else could have handled).

"I worked the maintenance window last night because you said this non production change couldn't be done during the day"

"Well you should still be monitoring in case there's an emergency!"

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

How dare you sleep?! You’re salaried so you should work all the time!!

[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago
  • the boss says from his remote office in Barcelona sometimes in Honolulu.
[–] Caketaco@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

this is true but why is it sunbleached

[–] osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 32 points 2 days ago

You have Light Mode and Dark Mode, but now, introducing: Dusk Mode!

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

and that gemini watermark

[–] unconsequential@slrpnk.net 21 points 2 days ago

“You should have planned ahead for this sort of thing”

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

If you'd budget your time more wisely to arrive an hour early to work every day, you would've been here before the lava consumed the freeway.

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

but what's that Gemini watermark down there bud?

[–] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

Does Gemini edit images? If it does my guess would be that at some point someone asked Gemini to obscure the identities of the original posters instead of doing it themselves (see: they have the same profile pic but different handles, and the reply has the wrong handle in the "replying to" section). I bet this is also why the color is all fucked up.

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago

You are lucky that Grace died in the sea of fire. Or else I would have fired you.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

That’s part of the problem. We keep honoring a social contract that no longer exists

[–] Epzillon@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

"We are a family after all"

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Where I live I can just call in sick and theres literally jack shit they can do about it.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

You have have to plan around potential obstacles to your job take personal responsibility.

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Well, today, here in Brazil, there was a whole operation to arrest lots of criminals and free regions from criminal groups, everyone was being sent back from schools, nobody even went to work.

And there is where my dad's working on recently, where nobody was even allowed to go home until the end of their shift. And they were close to a dangerous place, where lots of criminals were too.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

That'll be three floggings and pushing the office printer uphill naked and barefoot in a snowstorm. Out of my view, or I'll deduct from your next paycheck, too.