Ask Lemmy

why is your husband 20 years older than you?!

also, you can adopt.

My dad was 47 and my mom was 32 when they had me. Although he was a fantastic dad, my dad didnt have the same energy as all of my friends' dads, and that was always obvious. He really only was able to bike ride with us until I was maybe like 8 or 9.

My dad had some health complications when I was a teenager, and he died when he was 61 and I was 15. Really messed me up for awhile. Of course I miss him and wish he hadn't gone when he did, but when I think about it, I realize that he'd be 78 if he was still been alive today. Not sure that I would be able to handle caring for my aging dad at 31, considering how overwhelmed I currently am with my life.

It's certainly doable, but I don't think its a great idea - especially if youre kinda indifferent about it and your husband is leaning no.

The previous president of Finland, Sauli Niinistö is currently 77-year-old and his firstborn is 7.

That means the child will see his dad die at a far too young age, most likely. But otherwise, meh. He'll be a different kind of father, but a good father all the same.

The question: how angry would he be if his father was 25 years older than he actually is? Would he prefer not having been born at all under such circumstances? I bet he wouldn't oppose his own existence, for such a reason at least. And neither will his child.

Since you said in my opinion, any age. Kids suck. Lets just die off as a species

You should just have a kid with his son.

i think 35 is a good hard stop, and honestly, this should be more your decision to make than his. he should have understood marrying someone so much younger might bring this possibility.

the age difference in siblings is irrelevant... at least to the kids. not sure why he would feel 'strange'

i say go for it. youre only here once.

You didn't ask for it, but my advice is not to have kids, at any age.

Life is so short, and you'll never have enough time to do everything you want before you're too old to.

So why burden yourself with a kid(s)?

That assumes the kid(s) is totally healthy and doesn't grow up to be an asshole, addict, or troublemaker.

But if your kid(s) ends up with health problems, intellectually slow, or has nightmare behaviour problems, you'll hate living the rest of your life. Then you'll resent them, which would suck for everyone.

And at your husband's age, you'll be doing it all alone. And in 20 years, you'll likely be caring for your husband, so there's no life, even after this kid(s) becomes an adult.

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