this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 105 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (21 children)

I was going to lead with a snide comment like "Amber Heard has entered the chat", but here's the thing... A close friend of mine got absolutely fucked over this way.

One day, out of the blue, his wife went psycho. Divorced him, accused him of abusing the kids, coached the kids to say they were abused, the works.

He lost custody, had court battle after court battle, dealt with the most evil, vile shit said about him, none of which was true.

When he attempted the court mandated visitation she would literally attack him and deny visitation. When he recorded her, she broke the video camera.

Then she up and died from a brain tumor.

He goes to court with the medical evidence for her bizarre behavior, and you'd think that would be it, right? Nope. Court tries to give custody of the kids to HER parents, who are of an age that they can't care for teenagers.

So her parents have to travel from 4 states away to testify that there's no evidence to support the accusations, that he should have custody of his kids.

Whole process took 7 or 8 years and he finally got custody just as one of his kids turned 18 and could do what they wanted anyway.

[–] unconsequential@slrpnk.net 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’m sorry to hear that happened to your friend. I had a family member who went through uncharacteristic and risk taking behavior before they ultimately passed from a brain tumor. It happens and it is very confusing for everyone involved. Especially since that person, a very accomplished (decorated officer) intelligent person (genius IQ) randomly started on hard drugs, which just confused the situation further. We got them away from that life just in time to get them a diagnosis. The strain and chaos with that type of illness can be devastating.

That being said, I think the number of women in this case, and the context clues, are sufficient that we can conclude that this guy isn’t innocent. We have multiple different testimonies and his own words about young girls and his own daughter to conclude he was involved in that lifestyle at a time when he was high on money, power and a circle that was judgment free. He ran pageants in the 90’s which just… ewww. Also, I mean who calls Epstein at 5am in the morning and leaves messages? Not exactly normal operating hours. If he wasn’t insulated with limousines and a real estate empire this guy would have been drug through the mud in any podunk town for being a total creep. No one would be questioning when word came out, they’d be saying, “oh yeah, that guy, I can see it”

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[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 21 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Your friend has told you a very unusual set of circumstances that sounds awful. Has he had as many women accused him of abuse as Trump has?

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Nope, just the one. He since passed away himself. 😟

His kids ended up being pretty maladjusted for several years, but came out the other side OK. I did lose track of them after he died though, I would imagine that hit them hard. Like their mom it was equally sudden.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What a tragic childhood. I can't imagine living with the mom would've been easy either. 😞 Rest in peace, both mom and dad. I hope the kids take solace in the (perhaps fact?) that it was the tumor that caused this mess, and that they don't think it was in any way their own fault.

Can I ask what your friend/their dad died of?

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Massive sudden anyurism. No suffering at least.

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[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In some ways, the point isn’t just convincing people on here that Trump Is a paedophile and rapist. Generally, anyone on Lemmy capable of exhaling and inhaling knows he is.

The point is also whether you can convince such a huge male population to alter their viewpoint by women’s testimony. Though it should make sense, men have had to build up an intense emotional reaction to the possibility of “women’s testimony” and how much more powerful it is societally than theirs.

I’d definitely agree that’s fucked up. And as someone in a more stable life situation, I’d say two or three is all it takes to answer your question. But for so many people who feel out of control of their lives, whether or not I agree with the silly idea “Men are under attack” I can actually understand the sentiment of “Oh, just their word against his? It’s a conspiracy.”

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[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Two separate things, if not even three.

The first point is rule of law, and that's what the "believe women" statement generally refers to. "Believe women" is a nice and simple statement that completely ignores all complexity in a minefield of legal complexity. Relationships (especially ones that end bad) are incredibly complicated and there are ample cases where women lied for some benefit and ample cases where men actually did what they were accused of. Turning that into blank "believe women" or "disbelieve women" would be terrible either way. It would be just as smart as "believe employers" or "believe employees" in work-related lawsuits. So rule of law dictates that judgements need to be evidence-based.

The second point is Epstein. There's ample evidence, ample victims and ample witnesses. If Epstein was still alive, there's very little doubt that he'd be convicted. Sadly he is not and the USA doesn't prosecute dead people, which in cases like this is a real issue since that also means there's much less research into potential co-perpetrators.

Third, there's Trump. In a somewhat decent time line any politician politician worthy of their position accused of a fraction of what Trump was accused (and convicted) of, Trump would have resigned years ago. Sadly Trump is not decent and the US has jack squat of safety mechanisms when it comes to top politicians that are grossly unfit for the office. That's where the Epstein-files come in. They need to be released, but not to convict Trump for anything because it just won't work. There's no justice when it comes to high-ranking politicians in the USA. It's too much of a legal backwater country to hold actually powerful people accountable.

But Trump's followers were sworn in to the Epstein files for years now. That was one of the really big topics during Trump's campaign and it has become much more than just a list of rapists/criminals. If the Epstein files are released and Trump is on them, that could actually turn his base against him, which would be much more valuable than getting him not convicted one more time.

[–] Sc00ter@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I dont know if its any solice to you, but the courts are changing. This story feels like its at least 20 years old, if not more so. My wife is a Family Law attorney, and shes shared story after story where the courts biased is slipping away. There are even entire national law firms dedicated to mens divorce/family law that thrived because they knew how to navigate the bias.

Id like to think your buddy's story would have a different ending if it happened today

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[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

While I agree that your friend's story sucks, custody cases are handled very differently from rape cases. The justice system is prejudiced against men in that case, whereas in rape cases it is prejudiced against women. In both cases it would be nice if the prejudice is somehow removed.

[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 3 days ago

It's less bias against women (demonstrated by male accusers of female perps having even worse odds), but rather that it's an accusation of a serious crime and thus has to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Which is complicated by very many cases having exactly 2 witnesses (accuser and accused) and often little or no other evidence.

The usual counter to this is to claim that accuser testimony should always be believed and should itself be proof beyond a reasonable doubt because no one would ever lie about this sort of thing, but that doesn't jive with reality - for example, look at the Duke lacrosse case, or Brian Banks, or Tracy West accusing her ex (to use a few that got significant media attention), or those exonerated by the Innocence Project (a majority faced sex crime charges). For the first two of those, the accuser actually admitted to lying, (even if Crystal Mangum waited until 18 years later while in prison for an unrelated murder and Wanetta Gibson waited until the person she falsely accused had served 5 years in prison and was on the sex offender registry and partway through his 5 years of probation and then had to be secretly recorded because she didn't want to reveal to truth publicly and risk losing the damages she was awarded from the school district).

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[–] Soulg@ani.social 47 points 3 days ago

You can believe women and tend to their psychological trauma while also waiting to condemn the accused until they are convicted in court.

Now, the Epstein stuff is very different, there's overwhelming evidence and it's very obvious. But as a general rule otherwise, just ruining a life based on someone's claim shouldn't be okay.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 43 points 3 days ago (2 children)

We do, until the legal system gets involved z and the entire point of that legal system is that it can't care if you're male, female, trans, or not.

If someone accuses you of rape, they have to be able to prove it. I known this sucks. I also know that this is a situation that many times is a "he said she said" situation that cannot be proven, so yes, I also know that there are many rapists out there, walking amongst us, possibly waiting to strike again

I also know that that is the price that we (most western European democracies, the US is already on the rdge) pay for a system of law that does not primarily focuses on jailing the guilty, it primarily focuses on keeping the innocent out of jail.

And yes, that is a system that you want. The second that we'd have a system where we would always automatically believe the word of any random person, just and only because she is a woman, you'd better be careful with who you decide will be your girlfriend. Same goes in reverse.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I wish that's how the legal system works but it does not. The way the legal system works is the wealthier you are the more innocent you are. The wealthier you are the more advantages you have. The wealthier you are the easier it is to crush anyone trying to get Justice from you. That's the way our Justice system works. That's the way it's designed to work.

[–] parpol@programming.dev 13 points 3 days ago

While yes, that still doesn't mean we just believe every accusation. It just means we fix the justice system first and then do it properly. All that really needs to happen is that tax money pays for lawyers, and the rich party could pay for extra legal help, but it will go equally to both sides.

[–] al_Kaholic@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Innocent till proven broke.

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[–] ideonek@piefed.social 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well, unless you're not white. Then the court will be very happy to sentence you based on the witness testimony alone. Self-admission of guilt taken after 14 straight hours of interrogation will also work.

[–] natecox@programming.dev 9 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Yep, all of which is wrong.

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[–] gi1242@lemmy.world 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i don't think having evidence will change anything. there's a lot of stuff with concrete proof that he got away with...

he has repeatedly violated the hatch act, commited multiple felonies, illegally fired several federal employees, bungled diplomatic relations publicly, funnelled billions of dollars to his family and friends etc .

he got away with it all 🙄

[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (3 children)

And he will probably die without receiving punishment for his crimes, and I think that pisses me off the most.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Me too, but at least he will die

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

For all the rapist defense rhetoric fucks out there in these comments, and there are a lot of you.

Circumstantial evidence is valid evidence. Let’s maybe consider that, maybe, just maybe, of at least 28 women coming forward, with one confirmed rape conviction, that he has raped multiple women/girls. Just fucking maybe. This isn’t about your brother’s/cousin’s/dude from high school’s crazy ex-wife with a brain tumor, it’s about the president of the United States, maybe hold it to a different standard and stop painting everything with the same brush.

[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago (13 children)

No one here is in defense of rapists. Your accusations is exactly why we don’t just “believe women.” Accusations aren’t proof of guilt.

Also, there’s a thing in law that’s called “precedent”.

If you allow accusations to be accepted as legal proof of a thing, the floodgates open to allow this precedent to be applied to ALL things.

We don’t like our boss? Let’s all accuse him of rape! Boom! Prison.

We don’t like the head of our HOA? Let’s all accuse her of embezzlement! Boom! Prison!

There’s a reason proof is required. And it protects everyone. Even the bad guys.

[–] Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (13 children)

In your scenarios, all of the plaintiffs are related to the accused in a similar way and would have a common incentive to make the accusation. That kind of situation naturally raises concerns about collusion or bias. By contrast, when multiple independent and unconnected individuals come forward with similar accusations, the evidentiary weight is very different. Courts recognize that corroboration from unrelated parties strengthens credibility, because it reduces the likelihood of a coordinated or self-serving motive.

For example, in United States v. Bailey, 581 F.2d 341 (3d Cir. 1978), the court noted that corroborating testimony from independent witnesses could significantly enhance credibility and probative value. Similarly, Federal Rule of Evidence 404(b) allows prior bad acts to be admitted in limited circumstances, precisely because independent, consistent reports can establish patterns that are unlikely to result from mere coincidence or collusion.

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Exactly 👏👏👏

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

with one confirmed rape conviction,

There, done. Why isn't he behind bars?

This isn’t about your brother’s/cousin’s/dude from high school’s crazy ex-wife with a brain tumor, it’s about the president of the United States, maybe hold it to a different standard

Oh, so that's why he isn't behind bars.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 days ago

Not going to defend any rapists on here, I just want to say that anyone knowingly bringing a false allegation against an innocent person for a crime like this, is why so many people demand proof, often when none can exist.

I always want to believe what victims say. I usually go by the mantra of "trust but verify".

To anyone who is genuinely a victim, all of my compassion goes out to you. I hope you are doing well and that the perpetrator is behind bars. I know they often aren't, but I can hope.

Take care

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Because there have been too many cases where women have been proven to have lied. (Which isn't to imply that people are lying about Epstein. This is a general point.)

Let people have due process and release the Epstein files.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 days ago (4 children)

There's a huge amount of women plus Trump's comments about women. It makes sense to believe them

[–] creamlike504@jlai.lu 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I like the version "Take all women seriously" over "Believe all women".

It addresses both problems - some women false report, but if you take all of them seriously, nobody (theoretically) gets away with committing a crime.

I guess it's not as catchy, though.

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[–] dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 days ago
[–] Uruanna@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Everyone in here asking for physical evidence before convicting because false accusations exist, pretending they've never heard of discovery. You open a case and get a judge to order access to the Epstein files, you don't demand the victims do all the work first. Also, what is a jury for.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Plus we aren't even talking about a conviction, we're talking about predators keeping positions of power. Trump shouldn't be where he is, that's obvious

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 2 days ago

I agree with this. 28 different accusations of sexual misconduct (rape, sexual assault, touching, harassment) should be enough one of MANY reasons to keep Trump away from power.

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[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Sadly I feel like even if the list was fully released and trump is 100% confirmed to have done everything he would still not face any consequences. He would just say it’s a lie or made up and his followers and the news media would agree with him. It’s a sad fucking state this country is in. With all that being said RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!

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There are many people who are too scared to come out

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (12 children)

...........................because that's not how our justice system has worked at any point in our entire history? Are you serious? One needs actual physical evidence.

Also, why if you believe them, why did you...cut off all their faces? What the....

[–] Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

That's not quite accurate. Our justice system has never required physical evidence alone. Testimonial evidence is real evidence, and courts have long recognized that credible witness testimony can be sufficient to sustain a conviction or judgment even without physical proof. This principle is well-established in American jurisprudence.

Courts routinely convict defendants based primarily or entirely on witness testimony in cases involving fraud, conspiracy, sexual assault, and many other crimes where physical evidence may be limited or unavailable.

The key factors are the credibility of witnesses and whether their testimony is consistent and corroborated by other evidence (which can include additional testimony).

Federal and state evidence rules reflect this reality. They establish standards for evaluating witness credibility and reliability, but don't require physical evidence as a prerequisite for conviction.

The burden is on prosecutors to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, but that proof can come through testimonial evidence.

While physical evidence can certainly strengthen a case, requiring it as an absolute necessity would make it impossible to prosecute many serious crimes and would represent a fundamental departure from centuries of legal precedent.

So while physical evidence can be powerful, it's not a prerequisite. Courts weigh the credibility and corroboration of testimony carefully, and independent accounts from multiple witnesses are recognized as particularly probative.

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

the fuck is this cropping

[–] teslasaur@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Believe women? All of them?

Ask Pam Bondi if the files are relevant. Shes a woman, so whatever she says must be true, right?

Fuck this cheap rage bait and let the files speak.

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[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

Because a list is a smoking gun. This is why we have a system of law that states that an accusation is not proof of guilt.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The only people who argue against Trump being a rotten pedo sex-pest (amongst other things that make him Hell bound) are those purposefully spreading misinformation/not arguing in good faith and the "intellectually challenged" Trump supporters who really bought what he was selling and are now struggling with cognitive dissonance. Ignore them both, and condemn the former. 🤷

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago

It's not like a list release it's going to make anyone fall.

There have been other lists before.

Powerful people never suffer because their name are on a list.

But it's good for business to keep people talking about it. It keeps them from taking direct actions which would have meaningful impact.

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