this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
1260 points (98.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

26332 readers
1428 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Zier@fedia.io 198 points 4 weeks ago (28 children)

Importance, or lack of work contribution? Smaller screen = works less.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 104 points 4 weeks ago

Importance as in payment, probably

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 31 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

They'll say that their work is mainly talking to other people

[–] Patches@ttrpg.network 29 points 4 weeks ago

Which is why they believe AI is the future.

It does everything they do.

Produce slop

[–] dufkm@lemmy.world 22 points 4 weeks ago

Disgusting.

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, if the company gets fined for mismanaging or committing fraud, who do you think they will fire?

A scapegoat is very important.

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 28 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

who do you think they will fire?

10 to 20 percent of the workforce, so the CEO still can get a bonus.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 10 points 4 weeks ago

Exactly. This is America. 40% and install AI if it's 2025 or later.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (25 replies)
[–] littlebigendian@lemmy.zip 90 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

Its almost as if the more real work you do, the less you matter.

I wonder what would happen if the higher up in a company you get, the less you got payed. I'd imagine more actual work would be accomplished.

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The higher you go the closer you get to the people who actually controls the capital. The CEO can have a personal relationship with the board, people who do actual work are merely a number to the higher-ups.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Harbinger01173430@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

It saddens me the fact that there are people out there wanting to do more work.

The game is rigged. Do nothing and get paid.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] mondomon@lemmy.world 55 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

I have three monitors. FUCK.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 22 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 41 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I feel wrong.

I have an iPhone, and a laptop and 2 screens.

[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 107 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's four screens total. You're first on the chopping block.

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Fact is, in my company, higher ups have more screens than me. Like phone, desktop, couple monitors and huge wall monitor.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 11 points 4 weeks ago

Maybe your company is a statistical outlier

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 33 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

and yet... if it's a company that's a bit slack on security, the right command in the right place by someone with 2 monitors can kill the company dead.

[–] ALiteralCabbage@feddit.uk 17 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

A few well placed commands by a few lowly 2 monitor types are always the kind of things that derail companies on a fundamental level.

What senior management always forget is that they need us vastly more than we need them...

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 31 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

There are exceptions. My ex CEO and his nepo kids demanded ultrawides so they could more efficiently watch Fox News and get scammed by horny MILFS in their area that want to hook up NOW.

[–] h4mi@lemmy.zip 27 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh fuck, I have 5 27-32” monitors, phone, 2 laptops and a wall TV. Based on this I’m half fired already.

[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would anyone fire someone who works so much for so little?

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

That's at least 9 separate jobs right there!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 25 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

This is true up until a point, and then the pattern starts to reverse. Like, the receptionist isn't going to get 2 monitors. They're likely to get one monitor and a very old desktop, or an old laptop.

Edit: Also an intern / co-op student / work experience student, etc. is probably as low as you can go on the totem pole of office work. I bet in many cases they're not even assigned a permanent office / cubicle since they're expected to shadow / be mentored by a variety of people. As a result, they probably get a second-hand, used laptop.

And, if the company has retail sales, techs who do installations, etc. they're often very low on the totem pole, and they're often not getting a computer at all. Maybe in some cases they'd get a "work phone", so they'd have the same kind of equipment as the CEO, but effectively be at the opposite end of the pole from them.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 4 weeks ago

Kinda reminds me this Game one plays in Theatre which is to Play The Status (you're given a number between 1 and 10, with 1 having the lowest social status and 10 the highest, and you try and act as such a person).

Alongside the whole chin-down to chin-up thing, people tend to do more fast and confident moving the higher the status, but the reality is that whilst indeed up the scale in professional environment the higher the status the more busy and rushed they seem, the trully highest status people (the 10s) don't at all rush: as I put it back then (this was the UK) "the Queen doesn't rush because for everybody the right time for the Queen to be somewhere is when she's there, even it it's not actually so, hence she doesn't need to rush".

There was also some cartoon making the rounds many years ago about how people on a company looked depending on their social status, were you started with the unkept shabbily dressed homeless person that lived outside the vuilding, and as you went up the professional scale people got progressively more well dressed and into suits and such, and then all of a sudden a big switch, as the company owner at the top dressed as shabbily as the homeless person.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 20 points 4 weeks ago

"Importance™"

[–] AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world 20 points 4 weeks ago

4 monitors & 2 compiters at my last job; 1 computer and 3 monitors at this job... 🎵movin' on up...🎵

[–] ZMonster@lemmy.world 19 points 4 weeks ago

Value is not the same as importance

[–] cute_noker@feddit.dk 19 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

Here is the expendability graph

📉

If the guy with the "don't-turn-off"-server gets fired everyone know that the ship will sink

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] hissingmeerkat@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 weeks ago

Compensation is inversely proportional to productivity.

[–] Australis13@fedia.io 16 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Apparently I'm off the end of the chart. My last workplace set up had:

  • primary 15" laptop with two external monitors (so 3 screens in use simultaneously)
  • secondary 15" laptop with external monitor (so another 2 screens) when the primary one was tied up doing heavy processing (I was lucky and managed to hold onto my previous laptop when we did the usual rounds of device upgrades whereas most people just returned them to IT to be retired, so I had a spare that I could readily take home for WFH days without messing with my main office setup)
  • a standalone PC monitor (for automation stuff, so the screen was there just for monitoring as needed)
[–] Patches@ttrpg.network 15 points 4 weeks ago

You are actually the chart itself.

The all-too-common Load bearing IT

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Hi, it's me. Two Monitor Man.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Depends how lucky you are. There is a guy who works in upper management and he has the privilege to order new equipment for his office, which is all expenses paid by the company. He built a gaming computer complete with neon lights and four monitors right in his office.

"Honey, I will be late from work! I will be back at 3am!"

teabags scrumballs69 in Call of Duty

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Absolutely no corruption in private industry tho the invisible hand takes care of it

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 14 points 4 weeks ago

CRT = cafeteria worker

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I must be some sub Spartacus worker. I have three monitors on my desk and two on the management network workstation behind me.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Drekaridill@feddit.is 11 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I have 3 monitors, what am I?

[–] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 23 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

The Front Desk Night Guard

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What bout monitor + lappy or biblically accurate computers

[–] seralth@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When you have three monitors followed by two floating monitors above those on arms. A laptop on the side table neck to you. Your phone right below your keyboard and the tablet on top of the laptops keyboard.

You have reached peak screenage.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] grumpusbumpus@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

There was a study years ago about American TV ownership. Size of television inversely correlates with income.

[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well yeah rich people don't have to settle for sitting around the house all day. They have boats and racecars and planes to play with

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

It's only about how important you're to shareholders. At 6 monitors, you'll become the ever important cyber security expert, who will get replaced by AI, except said AI will do a job so bad it'll sink the company.

[–] drath@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

A bit higher up is an old-school dial phone. And even higher is a dial phone without the actual dial

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Mika@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Eh, as a dev I prefer just notebook screen over multiple screens

[–] Soulcreator@programming.dev 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Same, I'm also a dev who prefers working off a notebook screen. This fact boggles the minds of my coworkers, especially my boss who seems mortally offended that I only work on one screen.

I guess that means I've broken the social norms of a corporate slave?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›