this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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Peak security (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by qaz@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
 

^This^ ^is^ ^a^ ^joke,^ ^I^ ^didn't^ ^really^ ^lock^ ^myself^ ^out^

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[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 139 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Happened to me once. Had a little Pi at my parent's house and that was a nice excuse to visit them.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Except when you get there and don’t want to talk or do all the meeting and greeting until you know the server still works.

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[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 106 points 1 week ago (1 children)

even worse. I regularly have to get up out of my chair and go down 2 stairs.

Also this took a while to find, but : https://sourceforge.net/p/shorewall/svn/HEAD/tree/branches/4.2/Samples/one-interface/shorewall.conf

ADMINISABSENTMINDED=Yes

Is an actual setting in the config for the (now apparently unmaintained) Shorewall Firewall software/tool for linux.

If I remember correctly, it always checks on firewall rule changes if there is an active connection on port 22, and adds a special rule at the end to maintain that connection.

They don't build them like they used to anymore.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They don't build them like they used to anymore.

Well if we did, the way it works would be by telling a chatbot to enable ssh on port 22 at the end.

[–] null@lemmy.nullspace.lol 74 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Doing this is a right of passage.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 113 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Believe it or not, "rite" is the, uh, right, word here.

[–] null@lemmy.nullspace.lol 122 points 1 week ago

Messing up the spelling is a wrong of passage.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 points 1 week ago

You have a right to pass once you've done this rite of passage.

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

Believe it or not, straight to jail

[–] inconceivable@feddit.org 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Real servers have lights out management and management networks.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (10 children)

I'd rather plug in a screen with VGA than deal with HPE iLO 4

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Serial terminal servers (sometimes called terminal console servers) are a thing for a reason.

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[–] piefood@feddit.online 69 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Before you make a change, do this in a screen-session:

sleep 300 && iptables-restore old_fw_rules.bak

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

user permissions is a debian thing now?

A long time ago, Debian 8 or so it was a bug with Debian. Something about the command running without root despite the sudo command.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah except it would be iptables-restore < old_fw_rules.bak

[–] piefood@feddit.online 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Fun fact: When you do iptables-save, you have to redirect the output if you want to save it to a file. But when you use iptables-restore, you don't need to pipe it back in, you can just use the filename!

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[–] randint@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 60 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Almost the same thing happened to me. I accidentally fucked up the internet connection in my home while in Japan, and I had to video call my mom to have her fix it. It was a pain for both of us, but thankfully it went rather smoothly. Thank you mom!

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What's really fun is hearing "oh shit" from the UPS maintenance tech followed by darkness and silence.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Classic.

Love Hetzner. If something like that were to happen to me they can hook up a remote console accessible through their web interface.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 27 points 1 week ago

Many hosting providers have a remote console feature.

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] supernight52@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Fuck, that is really good wordplay.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Don't practically all commercial hosting providers provide remote console access?

This seems a combo of an extremely newb mistake in an extremely unusual scenario - worthy of Gru I guess.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 45 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Physical, on premises servers are still a thing.

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[–] qaz@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, all the ones I've used had remote access

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Most secure box is the one that does nothing.

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Since that happens to the best of us, I envision writing a wrapper script around {n,}pfctl that asks for confirmation upon detecting that you're logged in via ssh through a specific port AND detecting that the new rules would block that port.

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[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 17 points 1 week ago

I'll always be grateful for the firewalls like OpenWRT that will automatically revert any changes if you don't log back in after a few minutes (at least on the web interface). I'm not proud of how many times that's saved me.

[–] clockworkrat@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That the slrpnk.net admins in the picture?

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They had a hardware failure but close enough

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[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 13 points 1 week ago

This is the NetAdmin's problem. And he's got 3 ways to get into the datacenter, so he goddamn well better have an answer that doesn't involve airfare. Worst case, he's gotta use remote hands, but that would be embarrassing, and I'd not let him forget it. Nobody forgives me when I screw up a server cluster, so he gets no latitude when he takes a datacenter offline.

[–] phirdowak@programming.dev 10 points 1 week ago

I try to remember to always open two SSH connections when altering iptables or the ssh config - just in case

[–] observantTrapezium@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Does it actually happen to people? All servers I worked with both had a back door (or two), and someone at the data centre (during work hours at least) you could contact in an emergency.

[–] tvbusy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

Most data centers have some kind of service where you can request a KVM to be connected to the server. It's not instant as an actual human has to do so but a lot sooner than another human driving long distance. I guess in this case, it's a mid size company that is big enough to have multiple locations yet small enough to still manage to use on-premise infra instead of data centers.

I guess some smaller companies might have simpler setups they self-host

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[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

this sounds like something chip from sales would do

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