Ask Lemmy

I have one child, and I love her so much. I’m very happy we decided to have a child.

However, I’m content with just one child. Even in an ideal situation, raising a healthy child is hard work. It’s extremely rewarding, but the responsibility of shaping another human’s formative experiences shouldn’t be taken lightly.

As the comments on this post (and birth rate statistics) repeatedly hammer home, the state of the world is extremely hostile to having children right now, especially financially.

What the doomers fail to address, is that raising a child provides a unique opportunity to inject the very values we need to fix the world’s issues into the next generation. If you really want kids, it will be one of the hardest, yet rewarding lifestyle changes of your life. If someone is on the fence, it might be better to abstain, but only they can make that decision.

No. But funny how people interpret posts in their own cultural context. When reading the post just literally, it's clearly about polygamy.

I have kids, they are turning out to be awesome people. If I didn't have kids I think I'd still want them or at least adopt them. If only the careless/selfish people are raising kids the world isn't going to get better, I think people with means should do what they can to shape the next generation.

I grew up in a cult where the expectation was that I'd get married and have multiple children. Luckily my own parents somehow managed to raise me right in spite of the indoctrination, and when I went to college I realized both that I could choose and that I didn't want kids.

After my partner and I had been together for 15 years or so, we started seriously rethinking being child free. It was something we decided to do together. My kid is now about to turn 9. I adore him and love spending time with him. I still don't much like other children and I never considered going through pregnancy again. My partner and I have talked about potentially fostering or adopting if we manage to retire early, but I'm content either way.

I would probably only have one or two kids. I think it is beautiful to bring someone into the world and teach them the good and the bad of it. But I won't have more kids than two because it would be unfair to bring more children into a world that is quite literally burning. If I get kids, I teach them to appreciate existence but to leave the planet should the travel to and habitation of Mars become viable.

No. I was born sterile, and I’d never be able to afford them anyway.

I'm 29 and I think babies are kinda fascinating because they're so primal but interacting with kids roughly between 2 and 14 feels very exhausting to me. After that they start acting like they know everything (while usually knowing very little) but they tend to develop a particular sense of humor that I can work with. But yeah it's mostly a chore for me and I see no reason to incorporate more of that into my life. I don't feel a biological urge to reproduce.

No but mine is 23 and I feel it's too late to tell her.

Yes.

I was never a "kid person" growing up. I didn’t relate to children and didn’t have much experience with them, but I always saw having a family as the natural path in life. Just like dating leads to marriage, I saw kids as the next chapter after marriage. When I really think about why I wanted kids, it comes down to two main reasons.

First, the experience itself seemed undeniably compelling. I’m introverted and not naturally a risk-taker, but I’ve learned over time that it’s important to challenge yourself and embrace growth. The last thing I want is a life that feels stagnant or boring. Skipping out on something as profound as raising kids felt like missing out on a major part of life.

Second, my wife is incredible. The idea of taking on the adventure of parenting with her felt both exciting and deeply meaningful. It’s intimate, difficult, fun, scary, and rewarding — and I couldn’t imagine a better partner to share that with.

Now, fast-forward to the present: we have three teenagers, and we’ve genuinely loved raising them. I’m not looking forward to the quiet days after they head off to college — the energy and fullness of having kids around has been one of the best parts of our lives and I'll miss it when they've gone on to start their own independent lives.

No, I don't really enjoy life and never really have. I don't want another person experiencing what I do.

No, I don’t want the commitment. I’m used to living my life in a way that lets me do what I want, when I want. I definitely feel a kind of melancholy when I see dads with their young kids, but I just don’t think it’s for me - and luckily, my partner feels the same about herself.

45m I knew from a very early age that i never wanted to be a father. I have always been very upfront about it with my partners and it has ended one relationship. She found out that she did grew, after two years of being in a relationship, to have a child wish. And I could have at that time become a dad, and im sure i would be great at it, but im very happy that never happened. I got my vasectomy soon after that, i was around 30. Just to make sure there were never any accidents.

For the question of why... I don't know. I've tried to analyse it but i can't give a deeper reason than feeling a deep aversion. I have a good relation with my parents, had a decent childhood and i love my nephews dearly. I like children and i don't mind being around them. I don't particularly care for anti child propaganda either.

My partner and i are living a child free life. She also has zero interest in having children of our own.

43 male, have 3 kids. They’re a ton of work but they’re also incredibly rewarding. The house is full of love and joy constantly. I can’t imagine life without them (and my wife) and I wouldn’t want to live in it if they were no longer here. That’s how much of an impact they have on you.

That’s said, totally respect you not wanting them. They’re one of the biggest sacrifices and commitments.

No. Having a child at this point is dooming them to death by climate. I fear the age of dying by old age has passed. Having kids has always been a selfish act. Even more so now.

Look around. Having a child in THIS world is chosen ignorance, burying your head in the sand.

As a 24 year old man, I really want to have children, and I want to have a lot of them.