News

This is just trying to ban access to fluoride entirely

Well yeah. These are extremists, absolutists, radicals. Their dogma must be simple and without exceptions. If they admit even one scenario where fluoride has more benefits than deficits, their whole ideology and worldview crumbles. Nuance is an existential threat.

They just banned it in Florida, with Meatball DeSatan calling it "forced medication," and that if parents want their kids to have fluoride, they can give it to them. Now they want to ban those products, too.

So now we're just going to reconfigure our entire society to indulge the fantasies of conspiracy theory weirdos?

You could make a great movie about the fluoride prohibition of the 2020s.

[Opening shot: A dark, rain-slicked cityscape. Neon signs flicker. A child’s toothbrush lies abandoned in a puddle.]

Narrator (gravelly voice): In a world where fluoride is forbidden…

[Cut to a sleek black SUV speeding through a checkpoint. Inside, a woman in a lab coat loads a capsule into a hidden compartment behind a false toothpaste tube.]

Narrator: …one syndicate dares to keep the smiles alive.

[Cue dramatic music. A warehouse door slams open. Inside: crates of fluoride tablets, glowing faintly blue. Armed guards in dental scrubs patrol the perimeter.]

Agent Plaque (sternly): “They’re dosing kids in back-alley clinics. We need to shut them down—permanently.”

[Montage: high-speed chases through suburban cul-de-sacs, a drone crashing into a jungle gym, a slow-motion shot of a fluoride pill flying through the air and landing in a glass of water.]

The Molar (smirking): “You can take the fluoride out of the pharmacies… but you can’t take the sparkle out of the people.”

[Cue epic music drop. Explosions. A toothbrush sword fight. A child grinning with unnaturally white teeth.]

Narrator: This summer… the fight for dental freedom begins.

FLUORIDE WARS: THE SPARKLE SYNDICATE

Coming soon to a theater near you. Brush responsibly.

He literally doesn't believe in germ theory.

And I don't mean 'literally' as in 'figuratively'. He genuinely doesn't believe in the most basic element of modern health and medicine.

You can't expect him to then grasp something as nuanced as dosage.

Dude took his grandkids swimming in a sewage infested waterway... I mean, you expect someone like that to have even the loosest grasp of anything resembling nuance?

Because understanding that would mean his heroin addiction was his own fault, not the heroin's fault.

If Trump is a Russian sabatour he's doing a fantastic job.

We had this fluoride foam the dentist put on twice annually. Fruit-flavored foam, suctioned it back off, no rinse, and you couldn’t eat or drink for 30 minutes. Got that for a good number of years. I also recall that due to the combination of that, your city’s fluoridated water, and toothpaste, you could get these faint white spots in the middle of your teeth.