This is my favorite post of the morning. Laughed well and shared with a friend. Thanks, Onion.
this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
779 points (98.9% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32136 readers
3452 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
If hot tub handjobs really are a thing I've wasted my life
They are but are very dry. Water is not good lube. Better one person sits on the edge of the hot tube with there legs in the water.
Lazy rivers work also..
Skill issue.
Use silicone-based lube for water play.
Instructions unclear, silicone now in bladder.
Also, it's kinda ass to put that in someone else's filter system, and you don't want to be dealing with it in yours.
Yeah but like, the water is just going to clean everything off. Especially turbulent water like a hot tub
It doesn’t. It takes soap to get silicone lube off.
Doing anal with a girl in a hot tub isn’t much better
tub girl?
They are, so next time take off your floaties.
Nice try, I'd drown immediately if I did that
You want to go the pool route. In the hot tub there's little differentiation temperature wise.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Dammit! These are schwimmflügel, there IS a proper English term. Use It!
Edit: Thanks @dan@upvote.au I realized a left out a diacritic mark.
schwimmflugel
English
🤔
Kindergarten, Rucksack, Schadensfreude :)
It's actually Schadenfreude
Schadensfreude isn't invalid, it's just a rare variant. The "s" allows for a smoother connection between the two words. If this spelling is confusing, just pretend the "s" is silent.
I mean, it's at least not valid in German. There might be people using that word in English, I don't know.
Ze fix? Ich stehe korrigiert, danke!
Aber zu meiner Verteidigung: laut Ngram-Viewer ist Schadenfreude (~0.000130%) 144-mal so häufig wie Schadensfreude (~0.00000090%).
Do you mean silent as in ilent?
load more comments
(2 replies)
Floaties image search: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=floaties&t=ffab&ia=images&iax=images
Nary a schwimmflügel in those results at all. I rest my case.
Try again with the word 'arm' in front.
I much prefer to manipulate searches, and cherry pick results to fit my warped sense of humor, thanks.
Yeah that's fair
I mean this is a shitpost community after all. Best to ya!
my dad always called them floogles and i never knew why!
Parents can be mysterious, that way.
I read the caption before I took a good look at the picture and I assumed that "floaties" meant something very different.
Floaters greatly lessen my enjoyment of hot tubs as well.
Yeah spots everywhere and you don't know if its an bubble on your eye or just the floaties
Oh, I've got this far down the comments before realising we were maybe talking about arm based flotation devices and not turds.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Skill issue tbh
Yeah, just cum on the inside, problem solved.
I love onions
Boebert approves this message
Whatever floats your uhh… arms?
Safety first though!
That's when you go for the foot job instead.
Sounds like a challenge tbh
Honey, you have to put some elbow grease into it.
If anything it would make them faster as the floaties would increase the speed the hand goes up
this guy hand jobs
"from German". I'm not being elitist, I am not German. But lent words have origins.
view more: next ›