"Well in that case, he needs to learn better coping skills."
this post was submitted on 04 May 2025
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I find the most straightforward response is, "would you do/say that when you're having a bad day? Because I don't think I would"
What if all days are bad and it becomes impossible to differentiate?
Maybe they’re just an asshole.
At my absolute worst, on the worst possible day, I always start by apologizing for being frustrated.
“they could just be having a bad day!!”
It doesn't give them the right to make sure I do too.
That’s what I tell myself every time I see someone misbehaving. I don’t believe in free will the way most people do, so assigning blame to the individual doesn’t really make sense to me. I basically see people like that as malfunctioning robots. I might not want to be around them, but I’m not blaming them for what they are - because I don’t think they could’ve been otherwise. We’re all slaves to our genes and environment. If I were in their shoes, I’d act the same way. I don’t blame bears for being dangerous either - I just try to stay away from them.
"So could I. Worst case, they are the last straw, pushing me do something that can never be taken back."
I think it's true, but it's definitely not helpful in the moment. You can treat someone who isn't nice with a baseline amount of respect, but if their behaviour is bad out doesn't always matter how their day is going, the outcome can be the same