Ask Lemmy

I will say that this is some significant gaslighting. The bar is by no means "on the ground" if you are a guy - unless maybe your bar for women is also on the ground. Like, could you woo a grossly overweight, extremely insecure woman who works at Walmart and has no hobbies other than complaining about her more successful sister? Yeah, probably. But idk, I personally have standards in both the looks and personality department for women I want to date, and these are not some superficial "shallow" standards - they are standards without which I seriously have no interest whatsoever in spending time with or sleeping with a potential partner.

So the question is - where is the bar for the women you'd be interested in dating? Like, the cute, athletic, cheerful, intelligent, successful girls who usually don't break down in tears because they are out of orange juice. And the answer is - higher than you wish it was! Because every other guy also wants to date these women, and while some of those guys are shitty, a lot of them are also jacked, hilarious, kind, emotionally open, rich, and yes, tall! If you want to date these women, you have to work hard to make yourself stand out - getting in better shape, dressing in a way that looks good and expresses your personality, becoming more emotionally open and sociable, having an interesting and fun lifestyle, etc. And then you have to work hard again, because unless you are just an ungodly top shelf man, most women will still not want to date you for some reason, most of which are out of your control, so you will therefore have to shoot your shot with a lot of women until you find the ones who are into you.

Oh my God, YES!!!!! WOMEN LIKE TALL GUYS!!!! Obviously I don't mean all women, but a statistical sampling of women would reveal that "being tall" or "being taller than me" is a turn on for a significant majority of women. This doesn't mean short guys should take the black pill and give up on dating because all women are shallow bitches. But it does mean that dating will be harder if you are a short guy. This isn't a death knell for your dating life, but it does mean you will need to work harder at the things you do have control over, and it means you'll get rejected more often for a specific reason outside your control.

And meanwhile, these women who aren't into short guys aren't "immature", or "shallow". They are simply staring their preferences and/or requirements. Physical attraction is important, and trying to date someone you aren't physically attracted to is a bad way to start a relationship. After all, you probably wouldn't want to date a girl with a face that looks like she got run over by a semi truck. That's not fair, she can't control how her face looks, but also, fairness doesn't matter because you don't want to date her. Full stop. Terminal value. Life isn't fair, and it isn't up to some random person you run into to make it fair for you. That's a big case of not their problem.

To summarize: Dating is harder for shorter guys. This is no one's fault, and no one is being a bad person. Short guys just need to work harder. Sorry.