this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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having been on facebook since ~2009 it was undeniably hard to quit, but finally deleting it (not 'deactivating') last year was one of the best things i've ever done for my mental health
No, but seriously. I see this said everywhere and I think most people take it as a sort of superstition, but, like... your entire thought patterns change once you give it up, it's like an engine being allowed to slow down after over-revving it incessantly. All these things do is waste our cognitive bandwidth. And, yes, I'm including any social network where "me" is the main focus.
That's exactly what it feels like. I installed Social Fixer on my browser(s) to make FB at least usable for the few times I have to touch it for event coordination. People ask me what that's like and I simply say: "Oh, it's boring now. I only look at status updates for a few minutes and go do something else." The pull to go back is just... gone. It's as dull as LiveJournal ever was, and frankly, it's better this way.
What did I strip out of the feed? Everything that wasn't generated directly by someone on my friends list. That's all it took. All the "engagement" is either artificially injected into your feed, or clickbait people pass along because their feed isn't filtered.
Not maintaining artificial connections with people who would reach out to me if they actually gave a damn about me has genuinely been liberating.
I like how Discord- and Slack-like socials are set up. It's just more natural. Instead of a feed, it's a forum. It feels more like a physical place, with couches for discussion, corners of the room where people take conversation, and a hall outside for privacy. And if you understood that metaphor, then you know how I feel.
And if I don't like a server, I can just... leave. Never have to run into them again, but still have access to friends. No holes in the conversation where an obvious block or ignore leaves gaps.
What do people do there that is so harmful to their mental health? I just follow what relatives are up to and read the latest hobby/town gossip
I honestly don't know how I could use Facebook that way. Seriously. I log in once in a blue moon, and half the stuff I see scrolling through the main feed has nothing to do with any of my friends as far as I can tell. And that's with an ad blocker.
I don't understand how anybody can stand it. Maybe it's a "boiling frog" situation, or maybe they've developed better counter-strategies than I am familiar with? I quit Facebook about 10 years ago and when I poke my head in now, it's completely different. It is terrible in ways I wouldn't have believed 10 years ago.
Do you mean it's ads or something else? I have a few ads too but mostly it's stuff I've followed.
Lots of recommendations for groups, recommendations of random people to follow, and things like that. If these are paid ads, they are not clearly presented as such.
Though I just logged in (first time in a while) and I didn't see that, so...maybe it changed, or maybe my ad blocker is doing better than it used to? Not sure.
Originally the criticism was that you see the highlights of other people's lives and then compare that to your everyday life and that's depressing.
Nowadays I think it's all the politics being injected everywhere. Me? I look for cars and car parts on groups. That's about it.
google "facebook mental health" and you'll get an idea. if you're fine using it, that's great. but not everyone is like you. and the "i'm fine with this--everyone else should be too!" attitude is one thing i saw constantly on facebook.
edit: notice in my original comment i spoke of my own experience, not anyone else's, nor what anyone else should spend their time and attention on
I was asking what everyone else is doing there, not saying everyone should be fine with it. Geez.
lol sorry, "i'm fine with this-- whatever you're doing must be wrong"
It seems like you're trying to find a reason to be upset about my question tbh
my bad. i'm glad it works for you
pretty much that
Except my crazy relative (just 1, thank dog) also has telegram and feels the urge to forward every damn whackjob conspiracy theory reinterpretation of truth that they find to me and my wife, despite us never replying except to ask them to stop. eg. Cloud seeding, windmills and electric cars are responsible for destroying the atmosphere (not co2 and other greenhouse gases); Bill Gates etc. are spreading microchips through vaccinations; judges ruling that measles doesn't exist; Ukraine is full of nazis; and yes, even regurgitated feelgood fairy tales and random cat pictures from Facebook. So glad they are in a country far far away from me. They "do their own research", of course.
So bloody sad that so many people are in a similar situation of avoiding friends and family for their own sanity (and sometimes safety).
that's only a small part of it. the bigger issue is that people are just generally assholes on the internet, even your not crazy relatives. so for me the less digital socialization the better. lemmy is the only social media i do now (not having a profit motive helps some), but i have dialed it back like 99% since peak reddit.
I wonder if people have shittier relatives or live in a shittier town hah
Browsing Marketplace and chatting with my friends doesn't really affect my mental health, tbh.
My point here is to curate your own shit instead of relying on corporate soc-med to do it for you and you'll be much better off.
All the political bullshit on Lemmy affects me much more than Facebook ever has. lol