The Onion

6065 readers

111 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

453

Teacher Asks What First Graders Want To Be Once Child Labor Laws Repealed (theonion.com)

submitted 3 days ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 38 points 3 days ago (3 children)

just wait until it's "totally legal" for corporations to "adopt" orphans

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dude don't give them ideas.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago

I'll believe a corporation is a person when Texas ~~kills one through lethal injection~~ lets one adopt a child.

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They are people....

[–] ProfAel@feddit.org 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The orphans?

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Nah, not them...

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago

Adopt Orphans?

Your contract states that anything you create while employed at [COMPANY NAME] is the sole property of [COMPANY NAME], you're lucky you're allowed a generous 0.25% caretaker stipend for the child that's been a complete leech on resources for the last 9 months...