this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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"ennui and a trapped feeling ... no control over your own life"
That describes adulthood for a lot more people than we're willing to admit. Adulthood often has the illusion of more choices, but for many those choices have one realistic option.
As a kid, there is at least the feeling of "I'll grow up and it will be great", as a working adult it used to be "I'll retire and it'll be great"; these days it's "well, I hope there isn't teams meetings in the afterlife".
That depends on your childhood I guess! "Please let is be over with." was mine.
mine was "HOW THE FUCK DO I GET OUT OF THIS FUCKED UP SHIT"
Nah being a kid sucks ass. I have every control over my life right now. Sure a good chunk of my life is spent working but I like my job. And after work I get to do a whatever I want. And believe me I fucking do whatever I want.
What? But... how?
"Discover What You Are Best At" by Linda Gail.
Self tests you can do in one day, and a list of jobs that use those skills.
Nurses and hair stylists both need good people skills and good dexterity; totally different jobs with a similar skill set. The book pointed me at a job I'd never considered.
I've finally found a job that I like and the answer is with a lot of courage and a bit of privilege. First and foremost is the privilege part. If you have the privilege of being able to be unemployed for a few months and not die then you can do this, if you're on the edge of poverty then you can't afford to. Just another way privilege is a positive feedback cycle. Anyway, with the warning out first, then find the courage to change jobs every few years until you find a place where you say to yourself, "Yeah I can stay here for a long while."
It's a lot easier to do when you're young, but if you have the privilege of being able to go through the unemployment of being between jobs then all you need to do is have the courage to leave your job and look for a better one.
My job is ok, but I swear every day I wake up glad I don't have to go to school. At least work pays me, and the people I work with are great. But even when we were desperately poor I still liked it better than childhood. Even an illusion of choice (as hexesofvexes puts it) is preferable to the tight constraints of childhood. Even when I had nothing but what fit in my purse, no home, no money that felt better, sort of free; now with a house and family I feel like we have luxury, kids, dogs, cats, garden. Lifestyle. All of adulthood, even the sucky parts, feel like my life to live, childhood did not.
So do I, but not everyone is so lucky!