this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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Serious question from someone who doesn't know; do these people actually exist? I mean gay, anti-trans folks? If so, wtf? Can someone closer to the issue explain what's going on there?
They do exist, but explaining why they believe what they believe is like trying to rationalize the irrational.
Okay so... I am a trans person so this is coming from the other side and mostly from friends who are both not married and who do pass better but one of the things I have noticed about some gay men is that they do not want us in their spaces. If they decide you are cute and come over... Well at some point if the flirtation progresses past a point we as trans people have a consent problem on our hands because anybody who gets with us shouldn't be surprised about what downstairs situation we got going and when during an interaction to have that conversation is kind of... Never great. Some gay guys react to trans men with the same volitile disgust straight guys do towards trans women. It's a reaction like we cheated them by wasting their effort.
Also a lot of gay guys, hate to say it, are kind of misogynistic. They get treated as 'not man enough' by straights and turn that around on other targets. I am very lucky to have gay buddies who if the club doesn't want me there will just pick a different club but we've definitely been spooked out of some places.
I can’t speak to the contemporary phenomenon, and generally oughtn’t being cishet, but this was a trend historically in the US. In seeking acceptance by the mainstream, some homosexual communities tried to play into postwar American mores around class, respectability, and gender roles, and transmisogyny was a wedge.
A speech calling this shit out was a key moment in modern American trans history. You should watch it!
From A Short History of Trans Misogyny by Jules Gill-Peterson:
disclainer: LGB people are not a monolith, so I cant speak for them all. However, some folks are concerned that society is "transing the gay away": encouraging transition as a way out of facing homophobia, instead of fighting homophobia itself. For example, many conservatives are okay with any relationship that looks straight, and see transitioning as a way to conform to hetero-normativity (notable example: Blaire White). There are some gay activists who want to 'change the narrative' on this form of transition in order to fight homophobia and encourage gay acceptance instead.