Ask Lemmy

I'd say your mom has zero value offered to my life; therefore, while my value to her is zero, the reverse is also true so I don't have to care what she thinks.

Obviously, it's different for you.

I would share a story I often share with people who have to deal with difficult people. It's a parable, so it doesn't have to be true to make its point. You can dress up the story however much you want, but the essence of it is "I was walking with my father out of the grocery store when a homeless man asked him for money. My father gave him $20 (or whatever local currency is a couple hours' wage, buys a couple meals, or a big bottle of cheap booze) and I said, 'Dad, you know he's just going to use that to buy drugs or alcohol, right?' and he said to me, 'Well son, that says more about him than it does about me.'" We do what we do because of who we are, not because of who someone else is (to say that $20 would have gone better to a battered women's shelter or something like that). In this case the father just wanted to help somebody. So to apply that to your mom, I would say those people who don't have value to her don't need her approval to go on living. They're going to do what they do because of who they are, and who she is determines what she will do. If that makes any sense.

As for the depression thing, well, that's just incorrect. It's like saying any disease or illness is an excuse for something or representative of a certain group of people. It's as unreasonable and lazy-minded as calling AIDS "the gay cancer." Because yes, there is some correlation there (that is to say, AIDS can be transmitted through unsafe sex, and in the 1980s, when that slogan was popular, the gay culture was very promiscuous; likewise, depression does seem to present as laziness, to the untrained observer), but it's not a very educated thing to say and only makes the person look mean, and/or uneducated.

So for a "quick & dirty" answer, I would tell her that expressing those opinions in public could make her look bad. If you come from a conservative Asian background (assuming from the username — apologies if I'm wrong) you could also add that it brings shame to you and others, and in either case remind her that sometimes it is better to be assumed a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Despite this long message, which I tried to make well-thought out and cover all bases, IRL I don't speak much. We open ourselves to criticism and doubt when we speak, so I listen, and observe, choose my words carefully. ;)