this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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This post is for seeking some advice on what's the best route to try to help some friends get some of their offline lives back.

This year, a large percent of my friend group from my hometown have stopped interacting much with anyone outside of immediate family such as parents and work. Very noticeable for those that are under 30 (I'm 30) compared to those a few years older than me. For 3 of them that were pretty close, they still send memes and Instagram reels all day almost daily but never respond to any messages nor send any anymore. The only way to get them to do anything is to show up semi unannounced with tickets to go somewhere or with food to get them out of the endless scroll, and even then 2 of them will still scroll no matter what's going on around them, even while driving.

Seeing the reels that get shared since the summer, nearly all of them are AI or extreme (not political, moreso like extreme overeating, extreme overpriced buying/unboxing videos or people fighting past what mma/ufc would allow type content). This seems to have led a few to being scared of the outside while a few others consider outside to be too boring now. When we do hang out I notice my algorithm is completely different than theirs with every reel scroll. We were all very tech focused coming our of school but I'm 1 of 2 that didn't make it into a long term career, a couple of them have been on the AI hype train for a few years now.

Does this seem to be an ongoing trend for you? I know some people here have made mention over the time I've been on Lemmy but it's gotten so apparent in my life these last 2 holidays trying to make plans and soon New Years of the change and the the first time in more than a decade we're all within an hour of each other but majority of them are just socially MIA to do anything outside of scrolling on the couch laughing at nonexistent people and animals in reels. What's worked for you to help combat this within your friends without giving up on them? The best thing I've been able to find has been the bar style arcades and laser tag that's helped make that similar enjoyment while out of the house.

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[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 17 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

honestly...just find new friends doing the things you want to do. maybe occasionally reach out to the old ones in attempt to get them out of these algo-bubbles...but you can't/shouldn't put your life on hold trying to help people who don't even recognize they have a problem.

they're essentially addicts...until some messaging gets through to them and they see they have a problem, it's just wasted effort with likely no payoff.

if you want to hangout with people irl interested in doing more things irl...go to those events and meet the people going to them, that's where they'll be.

edit/ far as helping those people out of their algo-traps...well, old comedies they probably saw growing up tend to work pretty good. maybe suggest some old movie-day hangout type thing? i always liked the classic jim carey movies. yes man in particular, is pretty much tailor made for this scenario.

[–] Fit_Series_573@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

This is basically what I've been doing but you've summed it up well. For the main 2 that do the sending daily of the reels they do actually enjoy similar things but as you say they are addicts atm. Both had the time of their lives doing laser tag not long ago but its getting them out the house to do anything. Both have kids too and when I go to make that effort it's apparent it's rubbing off on the kids. If money is the issue that's why I am open to getting the tickets to things, most of what we do isn't over $30 each most the time anyways and the kids can go have a good time offline as well. The beaches nearby cost money to go to for example so it's like $40-5p total for the access to enjoy it for the day and everyone loves it every time and the kids sleep the ride back. Working on the newer friends though, I don't drink much while living in a boozy city I moved back to last year so it's a slower than expected process but it's happening.

[–] Talos@sopuli.xyz 3 points 22 hours ago

Such good advice and so sad as well