this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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This post is for seeking some advice on what's the best route to try to help some friends get some of their offline lives back.

This year, a large percent of my friend group from my hometown have stopped interacting much with anyone outside of immediate family such as parents and work. Very noticeable for those that are under 30 (I'm 30) compared to those a few years older than me. For 3 of them that were pretty close, they still send memes and Instagram reels all day almost daily but never respond to any messages nor send any anymore. The only way to get them to do anything is to show up semi unannounced with tickets to go somewhere or with food to get them out of the endless scroll, and even then 2 of them will still scroll no matter what's going on around them, even while driving.

Seeing the reels that get shared since the summer, nearly all of them are AI or extreme (not political, moreso like extreme overeating, extreme overpriced buying/unboxing videos or people fighting past what mma/ufc would allow type content). This seems to have led a few to being scared of the outside while a few others consider outside to be too boring now. When we do hang out I notice my algorithm is completely different than theirs with every reel scroll. We were all very tech focused coming our of school but I'm 1 of 2 that didn't make it into a long term career, a couple of them have been on the AI hype train for a few years now.

Does this seem to be an ongoing trend for you? I know some people here have made mention over the time I've been on Lemmy but it's gotten so apparent in my life these last 2 holidays trying to make plans and soon New Years of the change and the the first time in more than a decade we're all within an hour of each other but majority of them are just socially MIA to do anything outside of scrolling on the couch laughing at nonexistent people and animals in reels. What's worked for you to help combat this within your friends without giving up on them? The best thing I've been able to find has been the bar style arcades and laser tag that's helped make that similar enjoyment while out of the house.

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[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

And what do they do now instead of memes and share stuff on social media? Did they detach and turn to useful hobbies like woodworking, or did they switch to consume only and they're still on social media?

[–] Fit_Series_573@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Work and consume media. Knowing every content creator and influencer gossip summary and seeimg all the livesteam clips and sharing reels about the drama. I can't think of any useful hobbies for the last few years. We were computer techs in some period of time (friends from school and childhood I was able to get a foot in the door at a company at least starting in my department for a bit) while everyone was doing their college thing but those friends that still kept on with that stopped coding once they saw AI could do it. The others I only know one works on his car but I don't know much on anymore since he's been quiet. Myself and one of the other 6 have stayed active, I'm outdoors adventure active while he is gym active

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 4 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Hehe. I feel a bit "offended" by the ..."stopped coding once they saw AI could do it." Because that's not my reality. I do a lot of computer hobby stuff, tinkering, electronics... And for me it does shit. Doing the maths for sensor values failed, can't ever do memory allocation the way it's done on microcontrollers. Fails with slightly complex regular software projects... I mean it can do some quick and dirty webdesign and code some rudimentary apps and games if you're into that... Whatever people can do after they read a beginners coding book and a bit of copy-pasta. And it helps look up documentation. But I see zero reason to quit my hobbies with what AI can do as of today 😉

Doesn't sound good, though. I mean a grandpa will consume a lot of media after he can't get up and walk around any more. But that's not how it's supposed to be at 30yo. It is somehow modern society, though. Social interactions get displaced by para-social relations, like to a favorite streamer or influencer and you'd take part in their world. Combined with resignation we get people like incels. I'm about 10 years older and I still have a lot of friends who do stuff. Go running or whatever. Or they have kids and that takes up their time. I can see however, how things like social media steer attention away from human elements of life.

[–] Fit_Series_573@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Yeah I don't agree that it's good in coding. I just see the reels that get sent talk about what's promised about it while in reality programs like Windows 11 have code written by AI and sucks with years of bug patches needed of the current damage, not including future