this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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I like onions and peppers. They do not like me (understandable ๐ซฉ) and exact their fiery indigestive revenge every time I dare eat more of their ranks
yeah i was going to say. a lot of people are judgy about people who have unforgiving digestive tracts DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW
The person I'm thinking of just eats like a child. Turns his nose up at any vegetable. The last time he was at my place, he collapsed and shit himself. Looked like diabetic shock. I tried getting the rest of the friend group to have an intervention, but the rest are conflict adverse and don't eat healthy either, so it didn't go anywhere. The house he lives in has had three people die of weight related issues, but they think BMI is a scam.
i struggle with lactose and oligosaccharides
yes, i can take an enzyme pill for both
no, it's not a perfect solution (not in my case at least)
at this point I'm just straight up with people and say "I will burp and fart if I eat this, so it's your culinary pride or your nose, choose wisely"
me being gassier than the sun is practically a holiday tradition when i visit family. nothing has more milk and onions than Pennsylvania white people cooking lol
Please come visit. I will maintain my culinary pride, light a damn candle, and try to fart louder than you like a good host
Also, I tried that poo stank pill (devrom, bismuth subgallate) and if you can squeak out a scent through that you're a stinkier ass than I. And I've like been kicked out of churches over mine.