this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I am probably quite agender, as I have no intrinsic sense of my gender. I simply accepted my AGAB (assigned gender at birth) without questioning it. At some point, I realized that I don't feel any connection to this gender, no feeling like other people have. I also don't see it as something that influences my personality and I don't apply to gender norms. I just don't care about gender. (This btw. also makes it harder for me to understand people whose sense of gender is so strong that they even reject their AGAB, although I accept their feeling, of course.) So how do you “feel” gender?

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

And I'd like to add, my interests are largely somewhat masculine coded. My personality doesn't feel masculine or feminine, I'm loud, extroverted, and strong but kind. Or as we say in my family: my mother's daughter. I did have to put in effort as a kid to not get mistreated for being a feminine, and put extra masculinity into my presentation as a teenager.

My everyday clothing is the normal androgynous style of jeans and tshirts, though over the years I've gotten less baggy with it. When I want to look nice I prefer a more feminine look or a feminine take on a more masculine look (leather jacket with bold makeup for example)

Ultimately I do think a lot of society's gendering of everything is kinda stupid, though existing within it I find it easy to fall into it. That said, I can't imagine a world in which I as myself would maintain a more amab style body if given a choice nor one in which with that choice barred it would not cause me significant distress to the point of hindering my ability to live.