"garbage account"
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2025
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Because it's everywhere and I'm tired of people trying to make me try it.
The Slop Sketch (with apologies to Monty Python)
Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and slop; egg bacon and slop; egg bacon sausage and slop; slop bacon sausage and slop; slop egg slop slop bacon and slop; slop sausage slop slop bacon slop tomato and slop;
Vikings (starting to chant): Slop slop slop slop...
Waitress: ...slop slop slop egg and slop; slop slop slop slop slop slop baked beans slop slop slop...
Vikings (singing): Lovely slop! Lovely slop!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and slop.
Wife: Have you got anything without slop?
Waitress: Well, there's slop egg sausage and slop, that's not got much slop in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY slop!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon slop and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got slop in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much slop in it as slop egg sausage and slop, has it?
Vikings: Slop slop slop slop (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon slop and sausage without the slop then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh'? I don't like slop!
Vikings: Lovely slop! Wonderful slop!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely slop! Wonderful slop!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon slop and sausage without the slop.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like slop!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your slop. I love it. I'm having slop slop slop slop slop slop slop baked beans slop slop slop and slop!
Vikings (singing): Slop slop slop slop. Lovely slop! Wonderful slop!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her slop instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean slop slop slop slop slop slop... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (singing elaborately) Slop slop slop slop. Lovely slop! Wonderful slop! Slop slo-o-o-o-o-op slop slo-o-o-o-o-op slop. Lovely slop! Lovely slop! Lovely slop! Lovely slop! Lovely slop! Slop, slop, slop, SLOOOOOOOOOOOP!