this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 92 points 5 days ago (8 children)

Unless you are detained, physically locked into handcuffs, you can tell any cop to eat your ass instead of emptying your pockets. They have no legal authority to ask this shit unless they arrest you under reasonable suspicions.

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 110 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Unfortunately they aren’t legally obligated to eat your ass.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 67 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Yet. Vote for me and I'll make it the law of the land.

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Finally a politician who supports my interests.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Cop 1: * Bang Bang Bang!

"We have a warrant to search the premises for contraband."

Homeowner: "Let me see that warrant. Ok seems in order."

*undoes belt, drops pants, assumes the position. "READY? START EATIN'!"

Cop 2: "This jobs got it's ups and downs that's for sure.

*eats ass with gusto

Cop 1: "Fucking perv!"

[–] hunkyburrito@lemmy.zip 24 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Is it bad that I interpreted the "bang bang bang" as Cop 1 shooting a gun at first

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

i... just realised they WEREN'T shooting, because of your comment.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

Normal if you are an American.

[–] X@piefed.world 5 points 4 days ago

Doing the work of the people, you got my vote.

[–] GeneralDingus@lemmy.cafe 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 5 days ago

We should add that change in with all the other police reformation that should happen.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You could always hand them a spoon, but your results may vary

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This works best if you complain about your constipation in a sultry voice.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

Thank you fartmaster

[–] diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

Happy cake day!

[–] enchantedgoldapple@sopuli.xyz 1 points 4 days ago

Happy cake day!

[–] Sphks@jlai.lu 40 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is a great way to get detained, physically locked into handcuffs and not being able anymore to tell any cop to eat your ass.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not in Canada, depending on how white and employed you look.

[–] Typotyper@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Explain... More to the detained than the white part

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Insulting the cops is protected by the charter under freedom of expression. The cops have to be nicer to us (in theory) then we have to be to them.

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"reasonable suspicion": telling the cop to eat your ass 😅

[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Correct me if im wrong. Doesnt the USA has freedoms of speech? You can actually tell a cop to eat your ass without consequence unless the cop is a smooth-brain dipshit.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

unless the cop is a smooth-brain dipshit

Believe or not, this is a requirement to become a cop

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Believe or not, jail, right away. We have the best patients in the world because of jail.

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

yeah that's why I put it in the quotation marks. Just because it's a cops job to enforce the law, doesn't mean they know the law 😅

[–] PrincessTardigrade@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My friend from highschool said she was driving with her little brother in the passenger seat, and he apparently flipped off a cop. She told me the cop actually pulled her over and wrote her a ticket. This was a long time ago so I have no way of knowing what the ticket was for, or if this friend was telling the truth, fwiw. However, it's always been my impression that cops can make up some BS charge if they want, and then it's basically your word vs that of a cop *

  • Unless you have a good lawyer
[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Cops can issue citations, but judges ultimately decide if they are bullshit or not. Cops do not have the authority to make the law up, they only interpret it and enforce it. If you convince a judge that you only got ticketed for a middle-finger and prove it, you are cleared. Sounds like they got the attention of a cop and the cop followed them until they saw them actually break a law.

[–] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Let me guess, you're from the US?

[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ah damn I stand corrected. You didn't say where you're from and just explained as if it were universally true everywhere. Kind of a US-Defaultism thing.

[–] FishFace@piefed.social 10 points 4 days ago

Let's not make such sweeping generalisations.

For example, in the UK, the police have the legal power to search you if the have reasonable grounds to suspect that you have something on you in a few categories, like drugs. There are even (yet more controversial) powers to search people just because they're in a specific area (though there are restrictions on why an area can be so designated). You don't need to be arrested or handcuffed for this, although you might be.

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Nah, Terry Stops have been given additional reach and breadth at every opportunity.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

These are really bad advices unless you define where you are from because the laws differ in different countries and what police can and cannot do is different.

[–] MinorLaceration@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

If you are only detained, the officer can pay down the outside of your clothing to check for weapons if there is reason to believe you may be armed. They cannot search you without your consent unless it is incident to lawful arrest. Regardless of the situation, the correct thing to do is to state that you do not consent to any searches or seizures. If they officer actually has the authority to search you, they will. If they search you unlawfully, anything they find is subject to suppression in court.

Deny them consent to search, but do not physically resist if they do. And do not answer questions without a lawyer.