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160

Please help me under stand my spouse's gift and their hurt (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

156 comments fedilink hide all child comments

For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I've never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It's sentimental.

I don't like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It's perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don't like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I'm not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don't like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

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[–] Leather@lemmy.world -3 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

Unnecessary, uncool. Why try to label someone why you don't know, and obviously don't have the credentials to diagnose?

[–] filcuk@lemmy.zip 9 points 5 hours ago

Because this isn't a regular behavior. Ignoring a potential abnormality will just complicate their life. They didn't diagnose anyone, please learn to read.

[–] oascany@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

I mean they did say "you may be..." and then followed it up with advice to talk to a professional. I don't think there was an attempt to diagnose here, even though I don't agree with how the comment was worded. Personally, I think everyone should get tested to see what neuroatypicalities they have.

[–] Rumo161@feddit.org 1 points 1 hour ago

Even thoug the comment wasnt a direct diagnose its still unessecerly labeling. The explained situation could have multiple layers we cant possibly know of.