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160

Please help me under stand my spouse's gift and their hurt (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I've never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It's sentimental.

I don't like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It's perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don't like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I'm not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don't like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

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[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

Down vote me if ya want but I very much feel OP. I always will take an older model or refurnished over some new, overly priced gizmo. I understand that the new thing is maybe an improvement but the capitalist churn of new devices every other week makes me sick. "What's wrong with older devices?", is my shtick. A computer from 2011 will run fine without a copious amount of bloat publishers push. I had a very thoughtful mother in law who fixed my screen on my computer instead of buying me a new laptop. My ex husband on the other hand always wanted the trendiest item Instagram was selling and would request his mom get it for him, we were poor (who would've guess two kids in their 20s were working on our finances). I'm still actively playing my original Xbox One from 16ish years ago, and my console still loads faster than my friends' newer consoles.