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160

Please help me under stand my spouse's gift and their hurt (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I've never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It's sentimental.

I don't like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It's perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don't like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I'm not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don't like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago

Alls I will say is you pick your battles in marriage and when it comes to things to fight over you gotta sorta ask if its really worth it. I am much like you. To the point where I have had like acquaintances (people you know but are not friends that you hang out with) complain and even want to buy me clothes because they can't stand the old or worn stuff. In particular women. If you are like me was are especially bad about these things even for men. Like stallman level unkeptness. To the point even some male friends will be like. You need to get some better threads. If that is you then she is not likely being totally unreasonable.