this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 126 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

My boobs got groped in public the first year they were appealing to men. I didn't even realize what had happened at first.

Edit: I'm trans and my boobs became first attractive to men in my 40s. The incident I'm describing happened in the US.

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 40 points 1 day ago (3 children)

what.....where does this come from that its fine to do this? jesus.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I have the same question because I believe that person is not a loaf of bread^1^so I also question whether they live in Estonia. I like to think we're better than that here nowadays (30 years ago might have been different, 90s were hell).

^1^ Eesti leib means Estonian bread in, well, Estonian

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i mean, ill be honest, ive heard this happening in select countries, and still is gross. To hear it this widespread across countries just blows my mind.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

Unfortunately it still happens in a lot of places, I'm just hoping it's not as common here as the comment above described. Kinda sucks to raise a child in a society where groping is deemed acceptable.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

The country that elected the "grab them by the pussy" President?

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 2 points 22 hours ago

I didn't see the US edit till later and I'm still shocked some fucker did that in the US. Gross

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

It doesn't need to be fine to do. It just needs to be doable without consequences. Even if just 1% of men are shitty enough to do it, that will be enough for almost every woman to suffer from it.

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 3 points 22 hours ago

Yeah and there should be consequences for that wherever this happens. Nobody deserves to be violated like that.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I really liked the "yes all women" hashtag response to the "not all men" one. Pointing out the near universal experience of women being harassed (or worse) by a man at some point (often multiple times) in their life.

[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Dont know why, since it too was a lie. Across the world its around 50%, which still aint great. But its not all. People really need to stop talking in absolutes, we arent sith for fucks sake.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev -1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

To me the "dealing in absolutes" here is insisting that the phrase "yes all women" can't be used if even a single woman hasn't been harassed because it's a "lie" rather than actually listening to what the women are saying and the point they're trying to make.

[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

If the point your trying to make requires a lie, then its not a very good point. Is it? If a single man is raped by woman, can I then say "all women"? If a single man beats his wife, can I say "all men"? If a single American is fat, rapes women and is elected president, can I say "All Americans"? Are you starting to see the issue yet?

When you say "all" you invite people to say "well actually..." and then back that up with stats that make the claim that all woman or all men or all Americans is bullshit. And we stop talking about the actual issue, kinda like whats happening now. So maybe, instead of the hyperbole, just state the facts and let them do the heavy lifting instead of the bullshit that leads to so many online arguments. No?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Sound like an "all lives matter" type.

[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds nothing like that. "Black lives matter" is a focus on the unjust treatment of black people by SOME police officers in the US. "All lives matter" or "Blue lives matter" is dumb shit by people who dont get the "focus" part.

Saying "All" is why we have women scared to walk the streets, even though the stats dont back up that claim. Only 25% of sexual assaults on women are done by strangers. The other 75% is done by people that they know, friends and family. When you say "all" and its not "all" youre doing a disservice to the topic. The stats say that women in are in far less danger during the walk home than they are when they get home. Which is something to actually talk about, instead of all the focus being "on the streets".

Detailed and accurate information matter.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

"Women shouldn't have said 'yes all women' because only 25% of sexual assaults are by strangers and only half of all women have experienced assault." 🙄

[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world -1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I never said that. But not shocked that you cant read.

Ok, lets play your dumb as fuck game.

"All black men" In 2023 over 28% of all rape and sexual assault arrests were black men. So according to your own logic, you get to say that "all black men are rapists"....

All immigrants are stealing our jobs! In 2023, about 17.9% of employed workers in the U.S. were immigrants. Sure sounds like "all immigrants are stealing all the jobs...

All teenagers are lazy!!! About 9% of teens aged 16‑19 in 2022 in the U.S. were neither enrolled in school nor working. Sure sounds like "All teenagers" to me....

All men are rapists!!!!! Best estimates are that between 1 and 5% of men are rapists. I guess that means we are all rapists then...

All women have been raped or sexually assaulted!!!! Actually its 21% of all women that have said they were raped/someone attempted to rape them... ALL WOMEN!!!!!!!

Fuck off.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I never said that. But not shocked that you cant read.

Across the world its around 50%, which still aint great. But its not all. People really need to stop talking in absolutes, we arent sith for fucks sake.

Saying "All" is why we have women scared to walk the streets, even though the stats dont back up that claim. Only 25% of sexual assaults on women are done by strangers. The other 75% is done by people that they know, friends and family.

[–] Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world 0 points 11 hours ago

Ah, so are you are fucking stupid. Got it.

[–] frongt@lemmy.zip 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm not sure if that's better or worse than assuming you were a cis woman and it happened at like 13. Because I've heard of that happening too.

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 17 hours ago

That happened to my ex-wife, by a family member.

That she was expected to forgive and not make faces around afterward.

[–] Havatra@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Such uncivilized behavior... This happened in Estonia? I guess people who have no respect for personal boundaries and autonomy exists everywhere, unfortunately. But on that note, most people are decent folks, only overshadowed by the idiots. Personally I've (luckily?) only had good experiences with the people while living here.