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Are civilians really brainwashed and think it's true though? Or are they just like regular people and deal with it while getting through the daily grind?
The authoritarian ruler maintains control when enough people are brainwashed. See the current situation in the USA as an example. It's not necessarily even the majority, but enough to maintain and enforce power.
You make a good point there.
There is a large amount of state propaganda using the conflict as justification for the state's existence. I would imagine whether people believe to be true or not to be on a spectrum line other countries.
Out of sight out of mind. It's why authoritarian governments police speech and media. If you control what they see and hear. Then the worst that could happen is they might just feel that something is off. But have no evidence to necessarily back that up. Basically an echo chamber of the size of the nation.