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What would you do to help a terminally online person? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they've never done anything in life.

It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren't. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed "lazy" and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they'll enjoy, but they dont do it. I've offered to hang out with them when im their town (we've been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.

I already know most replies wil be "ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "SAVE" THEM" but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.

Edit: i knew there'd be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

You can lead the horses to water but you can't make them drink. Keep offering to hang out, maybe if you're having a deep conversation ask if this is how they want the rest of their lives to go and if they have ever looked into mental health help (this absolutely may be them struggling to do things and not letting themselves think about that fact). But at the end of the day you can't improve things for them, you can only offer whatever help you can offer, help if they ask for it, and provide a good alternative.

Also, encourage them to take regular walks. It's a really good first step to stopping being a shut in. It involves changing scenery, exercise, and places you around other people. Biking or running would be a next step if they're interested, they can serve as a hobby and cardio and biking can also be a form of transportation around town as well as providing an opportunity to get involved in social rides. Things like that drastically impact mental health